Page 120 of Sorrow & Strangers

I let my head fall back, resting it against the back of the couch. I stare at the ceiling, thinking. The last thing I want to do is go back to the forest, but I do like the idea of annoying the stranger by being there for fun, not there with him for training. In the end, I decide to go because even though she hasn’t said it, Alice needs this. She needs a break, a moment to set down some of the burden she has been carrying for months.

I heave myself off the couch and walk across the room to pick up the package that was left on the table next to the door.

“What is that?” Alice asks, sitting up with a frown.

I tear the package open and pull out another, smaller box, tossing it to her with a grin. She catches it and flips it over, reading the front. Her brows furrow in confusion, and then smooth out as realization dawns.

“Shut your slut mouth. For Rafe?” she asks with a soft chuckle.

I nod as she tears into the box and pulls out the set of baby monitors. “I figure it’s a good way of keeping tabs on him while we’re out, and as long as we stay in range, we can get home quickly if we hear him fussing.”

“Did you order these from the runic network?” I nod, and Alice turns them on. “Let’s test it,” Alice says, thrusting one of the monitors at me. She smirks and jumps off the couch, bolting through to the kitchen. I wait, and less than a moment later, her voice chirps through my monitor.

“Rafe is a weenie,” she says, her words crystal-clear, as if she’s right next to me.

“A massive one,” I reply, depressing the button that allows me to respond through the monitor. Alice’s cackle can be heard both through the receiver and through the walls.

“What are you two cackling at? You sound like witches around a cauldron planning the demise of all men,” Rafe calls from upstairs.

“Oh, look, the baby is fussing,” I say into the receiver. Alice is laughing when she returns from the kitchen. “Why don’t you go get ready, and I’ll feed and change him before we go out?” Alice laughs harder at my words.

“I heard that, and you are both dicks!” Rafe yells.

My lips twitch as I put the receiver down and go into the kitchen to get Rafe’s meat.

I set up the monitor while he eats, and once he’s full, it doesn’t take long to get him settled into bed. He is still healing and worn out from constantly trying to work out. He barely protests when I guide him into bed after his shower, and he’s practically asleep as I get him tucked in. I turn out the light before sneaking out of his room.

After my shower, I stand in only a towel, looking through my closet as I try to decide what to wear. It’s a party, but it’s in the forest, so probably not heels. Usually I prefer wearing heels when I have to be on. They give me confidence, and while Connor and Alice have definitely helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin, I have a lifetime of trauma to overcome. Finding out that I am light fae hasn’t helped. It is just proof that I am alone in the world.

Fuck it. It is what it is, and it may be true, but I am loved. That is what I need to focus on.

I decide on a short, forest-green dress. The hem flares out a little where it hits me at mid-thigh, but the thing I love most about it is the detail on the straps. It is designed to look like vines crossing over my shoulders, the delicate embroidery along the low-cut neckline continuing the theme. I’m not sure why I’m so drawn to this dress tonight, but I feel beautiful in it. I slip into a pair of black chunky heels and meet Alice downstairs. She is dressed just as slutty as I am in a bralette, the shortest shorts I’ve ever seen, and stacked platform shoes that add multiple inches to her diminutive height.

“Let’s go destroy some shifters,” Alice says, her smile catlike.

I roll my eyes but shove the baby monitor into my thigh holster, which I donned just for this. Alice looks at it and bursts out laughing.

“What?”

“You look like a mom ready to slut it up.”

“Well, I am. We have a demon baby.”

Alice links arms with me, and we leave the house. As we approach the forest, Alice leans into me and squeezes my arm. “Thanks for this. I need it.”

“I think I do too,” I say, tightening my hold on her.

Since Connor died, our social life has been nearly nonexistent, but maybe this is a first step. I brush my fingers over the halo as I always do when I think of Connor. It hums comfortingly, but it feels far away, faint. He’s trying to give me space to move on and enjoy the party, but he also wants me to know he is here. Or maybe I’m reading into it too much. Perhaps he’s just busy doing dead-guy stuff.

“Plus, it keeps me away from Max,” I add. I’m not sure where the words come from because Max is not the real issue, and it was not him that my thoughts had conjured. In truth, it keeps me away from the stranger.

“Still?” Alice cackles.

“Shut up,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Wait, I’ve actually been meaning to ask you,” she says, leaning in and dropping her voice conspiratorially, “does it get better during the—” She holds up her hand and makes a circle with her forefinger and thumb, pushing her index finger of the other hand through it.

I glare at her. Why the fuck did I have to bring up Max? I have serious regrets.