Page 13 of Sorrow & Strangers

I glance at him, looking for any signs of deceit, but there are none. There is only gentleness and love in his eyes.

Uriel wipes my tears again. “He’d hate this. He’d say we are mourning something we’d all do for the people we love.”

I set the photo back down on his desk, exactly where I’d picked it up from, wanting to preserve the room for a little longer.

“Will you stay a while?” I ask Uriel. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want him to leave yet.

“Of course, kiddo.”

I inhale Connor’s scent once more before we close the door and go back downstairs, leaving his room exactly as we found it.

Chapter Nine

Summer

Igo to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine, and Uriel follows me. His shoulders are still slumped, pulled down by his grief, but he seems a fraction lighter. So do I, somehow.

“Farrah hasn’t been eating either,” he says, sitting at the table beneath the window, the sun beating in, warming the whole room.

I glance at him as the coffee machine sputters into action.

“We’re all struggling in our own way,” he continues, thinking about his wife and his sons, all broken differently. I wonder if it compounds, or in some weird way, smothers his own devastation.

I look back at the coffeepot, watching the dark brown liquid drip into the carafe.

“You’re not in this alone, kiddo.” The pet name makes me feel somber for a whole other reason, evoking a sense of mourning for a family I never really had but desperately wanted.

We sit in the thick silence as I gather cream and sugar. Once the pot is full of the fragrant brew, I carry it along with two mugs to the table. I pour for us both before sitting across from him. I wrap my hands around my cup, enjoying the warmth that seeps into my fingers. It seems that I’m always cold nowadays, probably thanks to all the weight I’ve lost.

“I know it might feel like you’re alone,” he continues. “But you’re not.” Uriel adds some creamer to his coffee, turning it a light golden color. “Rafe is angry with everyone. Himself most of all.”

Why would he be angry with himself? He had no part in any of it. Perhaps Uriel is unaware of the lingering anger that seems to radiate constantly from Rafe. No doubt it’s now unavoidably amped-up thanks to the death of not only his brother but his best friend. Rafe must be angry at me too. Something within me twinges. I miss all the Morningstars, Connor most of all. But just after, I miss Rafe and the easy camaraderie we shared. But it would be stupid and futile to hope he would not blame me. I am the reason he’s even more alone. I am the reason his person was taken from him.

“Your brothers miss you.”

His words take me off guard, and my gaze locks with his. My brothers?

“My b-brothers?” I ask brokenly, I don’t want to misunderstand him, but who else could he mean? For whatever reason, my body is still locked into fight-or-flight mode, just waiting and ready to retreat when Uriel snaps at me.

He nods. “You should come to Eden this weekend.” I can hear the soft lilt of hopefulness in his voice.

I frown, trying to understand why he would want that. “Really?” I ask, with more expression in my voice than there has been in a very long time.

“Yes, kiddo. Home is always waiting.”

I look down at my coffee. “What about Alice?” I ask. Vampires are not permitted in the realm of Eden due to their predatory nature. It is an outdated and prejudiced view, yet it is one that remains steadfast in their laws. There has been one exception in history, and it was this past summer, when Alice was granted entry to attend Connor’s funeral. It had required a lot of negotiation and many long, drawn-out meetings with the Eden delegates, none of which I was a part of in my catatonic state. But I remember hearing Alice’s raised voice as she fought to remain at my side and say goodbye to Connor. She must have pulled hard on her lineage and her royal training. Eventually they reached an agreement. She’d had to sign a contract and leave as soon as the sun set. I have no idea what was in the contract, but Alice and I left the second the funeral ended. I could not stay and be there to have to face his family after standing with them as we said our final goodbyes.

“She’ll be okay for the weekend,” he says, and he’s right. Even the few hours away from me when she goes to class have helped her tremendously.

I try to think of any other excuse, but I can’t. All I know is that I am desperate for Uriel to stay. I don’t want to lose the comfort of his presence. “What if I came with you now?” I ask before I’ve really considered it.

He nods, studying me. “Can you call Alice?”

I shake my head. She’s in class, and if I call, she’ll just come home.

“A note, then? And you can include my number so she can call when she gets home.”

I nod and stand up to grab a notepad and pen. Sitting back down, I start writing.