Page 22 of Sorrow & Strangers

“And you?” I ask, but Rafe just shrugs it off. “I’m going to miss you,” I say, taking away the pressure for him to answer.

Farrah is waiting in the living room. Her eyes sparkle with tears when she sees me, and she hurries forward to pull me into a hug. “You sure you can’t stay?” she asks. “We can move some things around, extend the house so you can have your own room.”

I hold her close, knowing that she would do anything she could to have me stay. “Mom, I can’t.” I don’t know when I started calling her mom, but it just came so naturally, and it makes her very happy. It makes me happy too.

“She’s got her gremlin to go back to,” Zach says, a little of that classic humor back in his voice.

Farrah pulls back and cups my cheeks, adoration seeping into me from the press of her warm hands. “You’ll call? Promise me you’ll call.”

“I’ll call.”

She strokes my cheek with her thumb. “I love you, my girl,” she says, her voice breaking a little.

“Love you too, Mom,” I say, barely choking on the emotion-filled words. I don’t know who this person I’ve become is. Connor softened me. He helped me learn to love, and through that, I know he laid the foundation for me to be able to heal. The question now is, do I have the will to build on it?

“Make sure they get our hotness right when they erect the statues of us,” Zane says, and I pull him into a hug, managing to grab Zach at the same time. Zane hugs me easily, but I can feel the tension from Zach as he holds me. Surprisingly, he has been the most elusive Morningstar, and I’ve been unable to get to the root of his anger. There is something mixed in with his grief, perhaps heartbreak. I’m willing to bet it has something to do with a certain blond Valkyrie female.

I step toward Luke next, and he engulfs me in his arms. It makes me smile how much like his mother he is, even in the warmth of his hug wrapping around me. He holds me for a long time, and I just let him, not pulling away until he lifts his head. I pull him down to press a kiss on his cheek before stepping back and turning to hug Rafe once more. I let out a soft sigh, safe in his embrace, and I know I am going to miss the comfort of just being in his presence and feeling truly seen.

“Ready, kiddo?” Uriel asks, and I can hear the tension in his voice. His face is grave as he stares at me, concern lining his eyes. Out of everyone, he is the most reluctant for me to return to Avalon, and I do not doubt that Farrah has warned him to be supportive.

I nod, squeezing Rafe once more before stepping back and taking a deep breath. I walk to Uriel, and he takes the handle of my suitcase from me, lifting the weight of it until I release it. At the door, I look back again at my family. They are all watching me, still a picture of sorrow, but limned with the light of healing. I smile and give them a little wave before leaving the house and walking with Uriel through the garden toward the elevator.

Uriel doesn’t say anything until the elevator doors close, concealing the house behind them. “You should stay,” he says.

“Dad . . .”

“Eden Academy is a good school.” He moves in front of me. “It’s not Avalon, but still.”

“I’m not an angel,” I say, though a phantom of a smile plays at my lips. I know it’s not there, but his suggestion warms me enough that it starts to build a little.

“You have a halo. It’ll be enough,” he says. The frustration in his voice is harsh, and he is wearing his angry face, but I know it originates only from his love and concern for me. “You can use Enochian too,” he adds. I have been learning more about the angelic runes, but I am by no means fluent. They’re complex and sparingly used.

“Love you,” I say, wrapping my arms around his middle.

All his tension melts away, and he wraps his free arm around me. He holds me close and exhales, releasing the annoyance rooted in worry. We hold each other until the elevator pings and natural sunlight invades the space. Uriel lifts me and my bag easily before diving into the open sky. His wings snap open, stretching out behind him as they catch the air. My stomach drops, and I cling to him, wondering if I’ll ever get used to this, to flying. I guess I’ll have to, now that my family is made up of angels and a vampire.

When I am brave enough to pull back, I look up at Uriel. He is looking ahead, concentrating on flying, but his brows are furrowed in concern.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

We slow down and come to a hover just before the portal. Uriel tightens his arms around me. “You’re my kid.” I can see him battling ‌his instincts. “And I’m really having trouble letting you go back to Avalon.”

I exhale. It would be so easy just to go back to Eden with him. I could stay with the Morningstars forever, never again have to worry about Torin or the stranger. The effort it is taking to deny Uriel is nearly overwhelming, and anxiety flares inside me. I want nothing more than never to go back to Avalon.

“I promised Connor,” I whisper, because that promise is truly the only thing keeping me from begging him to take me home.

“This is difficult for me. I can’t protect you there.”

“Dad?” I wait until his blue eyes meet mine. “I’ll come home at the slightest sign of trouble.”

“You’ll be careful?”

I nod. “I promise.”

Until Connor and Alice, no one cared about my safety. No one cared whether I was careful or not. In fact, most people’s lives would have been easier if I’d died. It still feels so foreign to know that my safety matters to people. There is a surprising level of responsibility that comes with people loving you. It is smothering at times.

“You’ll train?” he asks. It was one of his stipulations for allowing me to go back, and I had agreed, though I still don’t see the point. None of the training I did last year helped Connor. None of Max’s training helped Connor. None of Connor’s training helped Connor, but I agreed anyway to lessen Uriel’s worry.