Page 258 of Sorrow & Strangers

—S

I read the note once, twice, three times, and only when a splash of moisture collides with the paper do I realize I’ve been crying. He apologized, and I know how big a deal that is for him. His regret is in every line of the words he wrote, and I can feel it oozing from the paper. It breaks my heart all over again that it changes nothing. He and I cannot be together. I understand him, and he understands me, but that isn’t necessarily a good thing. Just because my darkness complements his doesn’t mean we should be together.

Does it?

All I know is that I feel wrong without him. I miss him, even though I shouldn’t.

I close the box, setting it and the peony aside. Lying down, I read through the note again, brushing my fingers over his words.

“Happy Solstice, Stranger,” I whisper into the void, not trying to stop the tears this time.

Chapter One Hundred Six

Rafe

“Spending Inanna’s Day with someone is a big deal, Rafe,” Summer admonishes me as we head toward the canteen for lunch. “Are you ready to take that step?”

I blink. Why is she talking about Inanna’s Day? Must have something to do with Annabeth. It’s not like we are casually dating, and we are exclusive. At least I think we are. I’m pretty sure that’s what she meant when she called me her boyfriend out of nowhere last week.

“We’ve been dating for over a month,” I say with a shrug.

“What about Mira?” Alice asks.

Just the sound of her name snaps my anger to the surface. It is now even more ready to go than it was when I was an angel, and as a demon, it is even more dangerous. They should have let me get a muzzle like I asked. There have been no incidents yet, but there have been a couple of close calls. Weirdly enough, Anna distracted me enough during one to get the demon settled slightly. It was the first time I’d noticed her. Or really anyone except her.

“She blew me off,” I snap, my tone harsh enough that it prompts Alice to hiss back at me.

“We don’t know she blew you off, Rafe,” Summer says as she opens the canteen doors, and I don’t miss the way her eyes dart around the room. She’s always the peacemaker, at least between Alice and me.

“She did,” I insist. “I showed you the texts.” At least the ones I sent in the beginning, not the hundreds I sent after she didn’t answer. That was between the Runic Network and me.

“Something could have happened,” Summer adds. “Maybe someone kept her from replying.”

Kept her from replying? Someone did this to me on purpose? The demon within me snarls and rakes its claws against my soul, malevolence springing to the fore.

“What happened to the agreement about not talking about Mira?” I ask through gritted teeth as I beat the demon back, looking between my sisters. They glance at each other, then back at me.

All right . . . They’re without a doubt hiding something from me.

“I don’t know, Rafe. I just think⁠—”

I roll my eyes, intending to tune them out, but my head snaps to the side when a shock of red catches my attention. My gaze locks on her, and the air is sucked from my lungs. She looks just as I remember, from the freckles on her face to that mane of fiery hair. She’s not wearing a cover-up or a bikini like she often does when I daydream about her. This time she is wearing a uniform, an Avalon uniform, but that can’t be right. I have never imagined her in school clothing. I’m across the room in an instant, approaching the mirage.

When I try to touch her, I know she’ll vanish, just like she’s done every time I’ve seen her over the last four months. Despite knowing this, I reach out, but this time my hand collides with her arm. The familiar scorching heat of her skin sears into my palm, and on instinct, I curl my fingers around her warmth, craving more of it.

“You’re real,” I blurt out, tightening my hold on her.

The embers that always smolder in her eyes flare and burst into flames, setting her irises aglow. Real? She would have vanished by now. So she has to be real.

“How are you real?” I ask, my claws starting to lengthen and dig into her arm, terrified she will vanish from my sight the second I release her.

Chase. Pursue. Keep. Even the demon recognizes her? It never did when I hallucinated her.

“I . . .” she starts, but stops when her lips tremble. Her voice is throaty and silky smooth, just like I remember.

I squeeze her arm again, reassuring myself that she’s actually here, and that it is truly her. No substitute, no illusion.

“Happy Inanna’s Day, pookie wookie bear!” The shrill, grating voice makes me tense, my body going rigid when Anna’s body collides with mine. Her arms wrap around my neck, and she presses a kiss to my unresponsive lips, seemingly completely unaware that I still have a hold of Mira and that my gaze hasn’t left the phoenix.