Page 260 of Sorrow & Strangers

“I thought you’d left and decided you weren’t interested,” she whispers. The confident woman of Paradis seems so vulnerable now, and it makes my heart ache. It can’t be for me. I am not worth this kind of insecurity, but I still want it to be for me. More than anything, I want her to have missed me as much as I missed her.

“I thought I hurt you, and you changed your mind,” I whisper back. Her words in Paradis had not filled me with confidence. They were noncommittal, and it almost seemed like she expected never to see me again. “I tried to go to Pyrrhos, but Alice and Summer talked me out of it. I would have needed to make a deal with my uncle, so it was probably a stupid idea.”

“Do not ever go to Pyrrhos. Even for me,” she says, grabbing my lapels and looking up at me, fear bright in her eyes. Another emotion from her that took me off guard.

I cup her face, noting that her fire is back. Even her hair is sparking with it, the full force of it kept at bay by the school’s wards.

“I won’t,” I lie, knowing I would follow her anywhere.

Her lip trembles, and after a moment’s hesitation, she steps in close to nuzzle against my chest. I wrap my arms around her, burying my face into her hair, remembering her scent and letting it seep into every part of me. Finally, I feel grounded and alive again. I only feel like this when she is near, her presence burning through my past and anger, leaving nothing behind but the person I could be. The demon purrs, wanting to bathe in her comforting flames.

“Rafe . . .” she moans softly, clinging to me, and somehow pulling away at the same time. Not yet. It’s too soon.

“You sure you’re all right?” I rasp, still holding her to me. I need to know she’s okay. The demon needs to know, and I need to keep it from rampaging. I am pretty sure I will lose all control if something happens to her.

She nods.

“I need to go talk to Anna. Will you come to my place tonight? It’s on the map, called Morningstar House.” It isn’t right to string Anna along when Mira is here. Thankfully, Max and I already talked about what I should say to end the relationship, and hopefully, I will avoid being cursed by a Kitsune.

She pulls back completely. “Rafe, no. Fuck. I have to go. Forget you saw me. Forget this happened.”

It would be easier to fix the damage we did to the beach in Paradis than to forget she is here.

“Let me clear this up,” I say, grabbing her arm. “I am breaking up with her for me. Because I’m not right for her, and she’s not right for me.”

I dated her to be normal. I thought maybe Mira just awakened something inside me that could be replicated with someone else, but I was wrong. It is Mira. I am not normal. I am not like my brothers or parents, or maybe I am, and Mira is it for me. She has been mine since I demanded to know why she was staring at me across the room in Paradis. Maybe this is what Connor and my father meant. Maybe I’m different in every way but this one.

She shakes her head. “Break up with her if you want, but I can’t be with you.”

“Why?” I ask, my heart stuttering painfully. No, I can’t be imagining this. I can’t be alone in this. It’s not possible. She’s with me. She feels this.

“She’s my roommate.”

I wait for more reasons, and when none come, I easily dismiss this one.

“Then move in with me.” I shrug. “Problem solved.” We certainly have the room. Specifically, my room has more than enough space for the two of us. Then she won’t have to worry about her roommate. Why didn’t I think of this immediately?

“We hardly know each other . . .” True, I don’t even know her last name. Still, it’s Mira. What more do I really need to know at this point?

“My father knew my mother was his after a single look, and my brother was the same. If you think about it, I’m a bit behind in comparison.” I can’t lose her again. The last four months without her have been horrible, and I won’t go back to that. I refuse.

The bell rings, making me jump. How long have we been standing here?

“I have to go. Don’t do anything stupid,” Mira demands.

What did that mean?

She hurries away, and I harden my resolve, recalling all the lessons and knowledge Max insisted on teaching me about breaking up with someone.

Chapter One Hundred Seven

Summer

Istare down at my messages with the stranger. I’ve not heard from him, not since that night. One of the first things I did was lock my phone with a rune, but I assumed he would have bypassed it by now. He always has before, but this time he left it.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve read his letter. Every time I look at the crown, all I feel is a sense of dread about the future that I can’t avoid. His letter though . . . The apology makes my heart ache every time I read it. This man doesn’t apologize. Ever. But he hurt me, and worse, he hurt Max. On the other hand, while I can’t predict what will happen between Rafe and Mira, it’s too coincidental that she has been matriculated into this very school. One nowhere near Pyrrhos.

I start message after message, wanting to talk to him. If I am honest with myself, I need to talk to him. I spend forty-five minutes typing message after message, then deleting them all immediately. Finally, it comes to me, and I realize I just need to do it. If he ignores me, then I have my answer.