Page 77 of Sorrow & Strangers

Unknown

He won’t ever be enough.

His message flashes up on my screen the moment I touch my phone. I barely look at it and I refuse to acknowledge it, the flutter in my stomach, or the heat lower in my core.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Summer

It’s been seven days since I’ve heard from the stranger. The last message that passed between us, was it . . . a threat? A warning? I’m not sure how to define it. I’ve not felt him watching me since that night, and it’s been pure bliss. The lie curdles in my stomach, but I shake it off.

“Sum?” Alice says, pulling me from my thoughts. I look up from the book spread open on my desk. “We’ve got a problem.”

I stand up, my body tensing. I know it’s about Rafe. He’s improved enormously over the past week and can now stand and walk. He is still moving very slowly, and it’s effortful, but it’s something.

Alice steps farther into my room and closes the door behind her, obviously not wanting to be overheard. “So, I went to the headmaster’s office and then the alchemy lab.” She frowns. “We’re almost out of brimstone.”

“Fuck,” I curse under my breath. We had been very careful about rationing it, but as Rafe has begun needing more food to heal, we have used up our supplies quickly.

“What did the headmaster say?” I ask, holding out hope that, since he had sourced it once, he could do so again.

“He said he could get more in a couple of weeks.”

“Fuck,” I say again. After a few days of brimstone, we had tried a couple of meals without it, and the difference in Rafe was astounding. He was weaker, experienced more pain, and the healing process slowed substantially. The headmaster probably knows that it’s not strictly needed for the change, but as someone who knows and loves him, as his family, I know it very much is. Seeing him in pain is one of the worst things I’ve ever had to endure.

“I know it’s not really required, but the transition will be so much slower and more difficult without it, especially since he’s not eating human either.” She pauses, and I am already shaking my head before the words leave her mouth. “Maybe we could⁠—”

“No,” I interrupt. Demons can consume mortal or immortal flesh, but according to my research, it’s difficult to switch back after consuming it. While animal diets are what the majority of demons prefer, due to societal pressures, animal flesh doesn’t contain the same nutrients. It will sustain a normal demon, but it’s not enough for a Fallen going through a painful transition and healing process. Brimstone is like a vitamin that throws regeneration into overdrive, but it also acts like a drug. That’s actually how most demons use it—recreationally. It’s another reason it is difficult to obtain.

“Leave it with me,” I say rather confidently, given I don’t have any semblance of a plan.

Alice visibly relaxes. “I will ration what little we have left, but it won’t last us long,” she says before leaving my room. I hear her padding down the stairs, and I slump back down into my chair, trying to think of a plan.

It’s been a week and not only have I still not heard from the stranger, but I’ve also not found a way to get brimstone. We’ve barely got crumbs left. I even went back to ask the headmaster myself, but he said he can’t visit Hell for another two weeks. Pacing in my bedroom, I rack my brain for a plan. I’ve spent hours researching brimstone, and I even called Luke to help me get on the dark Nexus, trying to purchase some. He suggested asking Uriel, but given the tentative relationship between Heaven and Hell, it would be best for him not to be involved, given his standing in Eden. Every lead has come up short, and I am starting to lose hope when a glimmer of an idea presents itself to me. I slide my fingers over the halo on my wrist, tracing the lines of the smooth metal. It unlocks Eden for me. Theoretically, could I . . . ?

The halo hums softly, Connor gently confirming my theory.

I gasp and bolt up from the couch. “Really?” The halo is not only a key to Eden but also to Hell, and I practically kick myself for not thinking of it before. Heaven and Hell are similar in many ways, but also complete opposites. I should have known there would be a weakness in the veil, a way to penetrate with this gift from Connor.

The halo hums again, and I look around. I don’t want to do this here. It has the potential to be wildly destructive, and I don’t know enough about portals. One of my biggest concerns is that I can’t be sure the one I create won’t go both ways, and the ramifications of that are terrifying. While demons frequently realm walk, I don’t want to make access to Rafe any easier for Lucifer, and I imagine a ready-made two-way portal in and out of the house would make it very easy for him to take Rafe.

No, I’ll do this alone.

“Al, I’m going out for a bit!”

“Okay!” Alice calls from her bedroom.

I leave the house in a rush, but stop in the middle of the yard, not quite sure where to go. The halo hums, and my head snaps toward the forest. I am not sure how the halo works, but it is clear that Connor wants me to go in that direction. Knowing that he would never lead me wrong, I sprint toward the trees.

“You’re going to help me, right, big guy?” I ask, brushing my fingers over the halo as I weave my way through the forest. It pings against my wrist in a quick staccato, and I adjust my course, following its lead, paying attention to every nudge when I’m falling off course. Deep in the forest, the trees stop at the edge of a clearing. Sunlight pours into the small space, contained by the ring of trees. I wrap my fingers around the halo and cautiously step from the darkness between the trees into the warmth. The halo hums once, and I release my grip on it to look down at it. I watch as the metal turns dark, morphing from sun-glow gold to a bronzed honey tone. I must be close if it’s reacting like this.

My shadow stretches before me, and for some reason, the sharp outline of it draws my attention. As I watch, it shifts, and I tilt my head and stare. It is mostly familiar except for the darkness forming around my shape, stretching above and to either side of me. It’s almost like my shadow has a dark aura. My frown deepens as my shadow continues to alter, something expanding from my shoulders. Are those . . . ? I lift my shoulders, and I can feel the phantom sensation of . . . something. It’s nothing compared to what I imagine actual wings would feel like, but there is a dull ache across my shoulder blades, as if my shadow self can feel the weight.

I look over my shoulder and gape at the sight. Those are not angel wings at my back. They are as beautiful and dark as the night sky, and though feathered, they are the ghostly shadow of feathers. Cohesively, they look almost gossamer.

These are the wings of the angels of death.

Well, I asked him for help, but I’m not sure this will do. I look down, considering my outfit of denim shorts and a sports bra. I know they’re going to make me stand out. Add wings into the mix, and there is no hope of my fitting in. It is widely known that demons are leather-clad and heavily tattooed. Which is interesting to me, given that everyone at Avalon wears their runes on their skin. Demons have tattoos for aesthetics, or as far as I know, that is why they get them. It is completely possible they have other purposes.