Page 95 of Fated to the Demon Lord

I shook my head. The other person only hears what you want them to.

A smile came to his lips. I think I am going to like this.

After a moment, Vaelor got up and grabbed the bearskin blanket and draped it over us, and we just lay there in silence, wrapped up in each other. When I laid my head on his chest, I heard his heart, matched in perfect time with my own.

Twenty-Five

The next morning, I walked to the nearby stream to rinse off from our nightly activities. I found a small pool where the water went deep. A waterfall rolled off some rocks nearby pouring into it. I stepped into the cold, still water and shivered, but enjoyed how it rinsed the blood and grime away as I crouched deeper into its depths.

Today was day ten. Vaelor had to return to the Spiritu Malignos army today as Throk had ordered.

I needed to convince him to take me with him. And to participate in the second part of the Final Proving—the fight for command within the army. It was the only way to protect my family.

When I turned, I found Vaelor with his shirt off, standing at the pool’s edge, gazing into the water. “I may not be able to look in a mirror again.”

I wish things could have gone differently, I thought to him through our new connection.

He glanced at me, his gaze softening. They went how they went, and I don’t regret my decision. It’s just difficult to see him staring back at me.

I can’t imagine. All the pain, anger, sorrow, and perhaps love for his brother were mixed up inside Vaelor and reflected every time he saw his own face or looked at his body with the black lines. Cracks in a finished veneer. Showing the hurt and anguish that would never fully heal.

“It would almost be preferable if I hadn’t found out he was such a bastard,” Vaelor said aloud. “Then again, if not, I’m unsure if I would have been able to do what I did. That would have meant losing you and losing myself in the process.” He sighed and straightened.

Gods, look what I had done to him. “Vaelor, I wish I hadn’t⁠—”

“No. Don’t blame yourself, Denara. This is my punishment. To cause the death of both my siblings and all I love. If I can protect you from that, I will a hundred times over.”

“But still, to lose your siblings.”

“Lanzin dug his own grave. But Pixa. I threw her to the wolves. I didn’t mean to. At first, I believed I could support her, and that got her hopes up,” he admitted, shaking his head. “And then I realized I was being naive and foolish. I locked Pixa up and demanded she see through her agreement to marry Creedan. And she hated me. She broke out and married the vampire—then the system exacted its retribution. But I didn’t realize how much it would take. And when the hedge witch arrived with the devastating news that they had perished… all I saw was how my foolishness in playing to her whims led to her demise.”

“You didn’t kill her, Vaelor. She took a risk. Others killed her for it, not your desire to be a supportive brother.”

“But I wasn’t a supportive brother.”

“You knew Creedan would turn on her, on all of you. And he did.”

“Then I shouldn’t have encouraged her in the first place.” He groaned, his hands moving through his hair. “I don’t know, Denara. Even now, I don’t know the answer. I might have protected her—her and her vampire lover. If I’d hidden them maybe, maybe they’d all be alive.”

“Do you believe that would have prevented Creedan’s actions?”

“Did Creedan’s actions stem from a curse or from retribution? Is it possible I might have averted it all had I not been cursed?”

“You can’t beat yourself up over this. You loved your sister. I don’t know if there was a right choice.”

Perhaps that was the answer for both of us. I thought I’d failed—I’d thought I’d caused people to leave me, and yet, that wasn’t it. It was easier to blame myself than to admit I had no control at all. That neither of us had any control.

“Ever since, I’ve been trying to save my people by regaining my power in the court, and it turns out all of that was foolishness as well.” He shook his head. “I believed if I played by the rules, made up for what I did for entertaining Pixa’s recklessness, then perhaps I might save someone.”

You have saved someone, I thought to him.

And she was worth it all. He dove into the water and came up dripping. The wetness rolled over his broad chest and slid over his toned abs. It dripped from his horns, off the tips of his majestic wings. My teeth sank into my lip. Damn.

I looked up into his face, Lanzin’s face, but also Vaelor’s face, wanting to melt into his arms. “We need to protect the town that my mother and brother are in and all the other towns in Misophae that are like it. They are worth protecting.”

I wanted to believe I had control over my life because admitting I didn't made me feel helpless.

But accepting that I didn't have total control was strangely freeing. Once failure lost its sting, I was free to act without being paralyzed by the outcome. Yes, we might fail. Yes, we might die. But fighting for the people I cared about was worth the risk every single time.