Page 36 of The Mechanics of Broomstick Racing

“Hattie kept them. But she’s almost a hoarder, so don’t feel flattered.”

“Aw, you really are stalking me.”

His voice deepened, as if begging her to be serious. “That letter said you were a racer, and this was goodbye. That you knew where you belonged. It told me to stay away. And I was staying away, but it was because I wanted to give you the space to make your decision, whatever that may be. But he sent this.”

She felt somehow responsible for Jaxon’s machinations. “His career depends on my return,” she explained. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologize for him. I just wanted you to be aware of what he had done. He also stopped by the shop, but the letter is what I’m concerned about.”

“Jaxon’s desperate. Racing is his entire life.” She didn’t even want to think about how much this letter could have ruined for her. “Thanks for not jumping to conclusions. For digging deeper. Not everyone would have done that.”

“Not everyone has magic that can level a town if they are ruled by their emotions. And it seemed unlike you. You’ve always been honest with me. Sometimes too honest.”

Zephyr opened her door a crack. “Do you want to come in?”

“Sounds like you’re having a party in there.”

“No, that’s just Dale. I’ll turn the music down.” She walked inside, turned the volume knob down until Dale pecked at her hand, and then motioned toward the stairs. Neil followed her up to her bedroom, and then stood in the doorway, leaning against the wood.

Zephyr sat down on her bed, staring at her feet. It was best just to get it all out at once. Better for Neil to know her shame now. So, if Jaxon was right and Neil left when he learned the truth, it wouldn’t kill her. Just maim her. And she had survived that once before. “I’m not going back. I’m not racing for Blackened Salt or for anyone. Jaxon knows that now, so he should leave soon.”

“You’re not missing out on this opportunity because of me, right?” He drummed his fingers against the doorframe. “I’m not pushing you out the door, but I don’t want you to give up your dream for…us. It wouldn’t sit right.”

“You have nothing to do with it,” she muttered. “It’s me. I’m the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

Her magic felt distant and weak. “I can’t do it.” She felt an added weight on her mattress—Neil had taken a seat next to her. She turned away from him as she said, “I’m afraid. When you came to the Post that day, scolding me for flying too fast and too low…”

“Hells,” he whispered. “You’re afraid of heights?”

He must have remembered the cliffside where he had pulled her away from the edge. “It’s more a fear of falling,” she said with a watery laugh. “When I fly, when I try to ascend…I shake. Cry. Sometimes I throw up. Which wouldn’t exactly make great television.”

Neil’s palm rubbed her back in gentle circles. “I’m sorry.” He paused. “This explains why, when I asked you to fly over the town and not race through it, you started torturing me.”

“I never said I was perfect. I just look like I am.” She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them. “Do you know what the worst part is? I don’t know what went wrong. I dream of that race every night. I watch the footage from my helmet cam, and…” She ran her hands through her hair, pulling at the ends. “I don’t lose.”

“Zephyr,” Neil chided her.

“It would be different if I understood, but I don’t. And I can’t fly like this.” She sneered, disgusted with herself. “Like I’m scared.”

“That’s a reasonable reaction.”

She wiped at her eyes, laughing humorlessly. “This is why I told you I wasn’t the right coach for Levina. If she ever finds out how far I’ve fallen—”

“Then what?” He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning her to look at him. “You think she couldn’t understand? She watched that race live, Zephyr. Anyone with an ounce of empathy would understand. Levina’s flying has only improved, and her attitude has, too. That’s because of you.”

“Has her attitude improved, though?”

Neil laughed. “It’s late. What do you want to do?”

“Sleep,” she said as she yawned and stretched.

“And what would you like me to do?”

“Stay.”

He shed his clothes, keeping his soft t-shirt and boxers on, and crawled into bed with her. His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her back against him. The quiet lasted until Neil groaned, “Zephyr, I’m trying to be good. Stop wiggling against me.”