Page 54 of Fractured Memories

I don’t even know what I’m looking for anymore. I no longer believe Kieran is the monster I first thought. I no longer think I want to leave. But my body is moving before my mind can provide reason.

I dig through the dresser, where I find more clothes that I think are mine. One drawer is filled with jewelry, rings that fit my fingers and thin necklaces I marvel at. Another is filled with folded pants that must be Kieran’s, ones that are more casual than anything I’ve seen on him. It’s so…domestic.

Putting everything back, I open the drawers on his side table, expecting to find more weapons. But instead, there are glossy pages of what look to be printed captures of camera footage. Each one has a time stamp in the corner, a little blurry and black and white.

And every single one is of me.

Me in the center of a cage. Me bowing to an audience gathered around a mat. Me pressed against a brick wall by Kieran. Me in so many iterations, fighting and smiling and living a life I don’t remember.

Shakily, I sink onto the edge of the bed, staring at the images that cameras in the city must have captured. Nights that Kieran clearly didn’t want to forget. Most of them have him in them, too, and as I lay them out by date, I can see a little of our relationship. They don’t say the whole story, but I can see the way he watches me, the little touches that were captured.

The way we look at each other.

I stopped doubting that I really was Kieran’s wife, but if any part of that still lingered, these images would erase it entirely. There’s no hiding our feelings when they are on full display for everyone to see.

It makes me wonder why he took me to a guest room instead of showing me this room first. It’s so clear that I had a real life here with him.

But would I have believed it? If he had dragged me from that car when I was still unwilling to trust anyone and tried to show me clothes and pictures, would I have listened? I’m certain I would have thought it was some lie he had fabricated to manipulate me.

Hearing you reject him kind of pushes him over the edge.

Mika’s words come back to me, and my heart aches for Kieran. He didn’t bring me in here because I shut him out every time he tried to explain. He had to listen to someone he cares about call him a liar and a captor. I can imagine that he didn’t want me to take what little he had left of us away, too.

It’s overwhelming as I look around, taking in the pieces of our lives scattered around me. I’m just starting to make peace with the concept that I might actually like being around Kieran—not because of our past, either. I like the way we push each other. I like the way he makes me feel. I like that he tried to give me space but never gave up on me.

But I’m not sure I’m ready for this.

Needing space to think, I quickly tuck the photos away and pull a simple outfit from the closet. I dress and slip out, hoping I don’t run into Kieran before I can gather my thoughts.

Luckily, I make it back to my room without anyone stopping me. This time, Ash isn’t outside my door, but Gale is. The shy smile she gives me tells me that she knows exactly where I’ve been. She’s too sweet to give me shit about it, though I still duck my head to avoid meeting her eyes as I slip past her.

Immediately, I’m struck with the realization that this room isn’t as comforting as Kieran’s. Despite the windows and soft mattress, there’s something about his dark decor and the scent of him that settled me. Or maybe it’s the innate comfort that comes from the memories I lost.

I’m about to strip down and get in the shower when I cast a glance at the bed. I move closer, biting down on my bottom lip as a smile threatens to break free.

Folded in a neat row and laid out across the blanket are half a dozen new pieces of swimwear.

* * *

“You aren’t serious.” Mika’s brown eyes are wide, her thick hair piled on top of her head. We’re seated across from each other on top of her kitchen island, despite there being stools within reach. When she hopped up here, I joined her without question.

I nod, stealing another piece of chocolate from the package between us. She claims that Lochlan has better sweets than what Jude can find, and we were considering going to raid his kitchen—because apparently, Mika can walk into anyone’s home and it’s fine.

But then I dropped the bomb on her that I slept with Kieran last night. I’d been holding it in since she showed up outside my room, and I told her I wanted to see where she lived. In truth, I needed a little space from his house and wanted to talk to Mika without a chance we’d be interrupted or overheard.

She and Jude have a small three-bedroom cabin down a short path from Kieran’s house, curving around the mountain and out of sight. They are tucked away a little lower than everyone else, and while Jude keeps a guard on the path, no one is in their house like Kieran’s.

I have been curious about Mika’s home, so she gave me a tour of the open space that somehow fits her personality perfectly. While I love the views from Kieran’s patio, I also adore the coziness of Mika and Jude’s space.

She nudges me, mouth dropped open in surprise. “And? Was it incredible?”

I giggle. “Isn’t that something you already know?”

“Don’t deflect!” She leans forward, voice dropping. “Spill, Eden. Was it so worth the tension that has been building between the two of you?”

“Yes,” I admit, glad that I decided to talk to her. Emotions, I’d rather keep to myself. But this? I have no problem admitting that I enjoyed getting railed by my husband. “He is…” I fight a smile. “Kieran knows what he’s doing.”

Mika squeals. “Thank fuck you finally came to your senses. I was getting blue balls for the guy.” I raise a brow, and she waves me off. “Metaphorically.”