Page 118 of She’s Worth the Risk

“All the…” My head swims. All the money? I cast my mind back over my visits to Gran, how she’s always insisted on paying for everything—dinners out, the trip to Italy, that insane dress. How casually she offered to fund my degree. “Am I secretly a Rockefeller, or something?”

She issues a warm laugh. “I’m afraid not, but your grandfather did very well for himself in business. When he died, he left me a large sum of money. I’ve chosen to spend it on the arts. And you, my dear Zinnie.”

I stare at her, trying to absorb this.

“Dr. Sweetman—Nicholas—and I have had many conversations at those God-awful department fundraising dinners.” Gran’s eyes shine with affection. “He’s a brilliant man, but always struck me as very closed off. A little stuck. And I thought…” She lifts a frail shoulder, smiling to herself. “You could use someone to slow you down. Keep you in one place for a while. And he could use someone to open him up to life.”

My jaw falls open. “You’re kidding.”

“Not at all, darling. When I heard you were coming to town, I thought, why not see if I can get your paths to cross? You’d always loved the Renaissance, and I managed to secure a late registration in his class.”

“And life drawing?”

Gran chuckles. “I didn’t plan that part. June called needing a replacement, and I simply saw an opportunity.”

“So… you wanted us to get together?”

“I want you to be happy, my dear.” Gran gives me a mischievous grin. “I had a feeling about you two, and I’m very glad I was right.”

I blink rapidly, thoughts racing as I try to make sense of this. She’s known all along. Not only known—she wanted it to happen. All this time I thought she’d be disappointed in me. That she’d disapprove, lose respect for both Nick and me. But she saw a chance for happiness. For love.

She looked out for me, just as she’s always done.

“You don’t care that he’s my professor?” I press.

She considers this. “I knew you wouldn’t do anything stupid, Zinnie, and he’s far too sensible for that. I just needed you to meet. To let something blossom.”

I cringe, warmth staining my cheeks. Maybe we were sensible to begin with, but she doesn’t know Nick is my professor again. That he’s taken over my class while we’re together.

“The thing is, Gran…” I rub my forehead. “Nick took over my fall class. We didn’t act on it while I was in his summer class, but now…”

“I see.” She gives a slow nod, taking this in stride. “Yes, the situation requires care,” she admits. “But I trust the two of you to handle it with integrity.”

Integrity.

The word echoes in my head. I grimace as I think about Nick and me sneaking around campus. We probably haven’t handled it with integrity so far, but Nick wanted to tell the department chair. And if I want this with him, I have to let him do that. I have to let him take that risk for me.

Gran touches my arm gently. “Do you love him?”

Everything in me softens. “Yes. So much. He’s…” I huff a laugh, looking down at my hands. “Let’s just say, I’m very grateful you signed me up for his class.”

Her bony fingers give me a squeeze. “Does this mean you’re sticking around, my darling?” The same question Iris asked me last night.

“Yes.”

Her eyes gleam with emotion, and it hits me right in the chest. But as I gaze at her, I think about how absent I’ve been, how distracted. How can I keep seeing Nick like this and still take care of her?

“Gran…” I hesitate, knowing how fiercely independent she is, how offended she gets when I suggest she needs help. “I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I’m worried about you.”

She sighs, withdrawing her hand, and I wait for her to tell me she’s fine, that she doesn’t need me to worry.

Instead, she says quietly, “I do want to talk about it, Z. I just… needed to do it on my own time.”

Relief whispers through me that she’s not brushing it off.

“You and I are very alike, my darling. We both love our independence.” She gives me a wry smile, but it fades. “It’s taken me a long time to finally come to terms with the fact that I have to give up a little of mine to get the support I need.”

“What do you mean?”