Page 66 of Before We Burn

I was tired of hearing them have sex, though. It’s like they’re trying to prove a point after we all heard Constantine and Benny. No one said anything, though. The possibility Constantine might snap was more than enough to keep the teasing to a minimum.

The tension in the room feels uncomfortable, so I get up and try to be useful. I turn to Benny and say, “I’m going to make food, bro. You want some?”

As I stand, ready to turn around to head to the kitchen, firm hands grip my shoulders and push me back down. I try to fight against them immediately, but I freeze as my hands meet theirs. They are rough but still soft, small yet strong, and so familiar. Like I have spent a lifetime recognizing this person's touch.

I hold those hands on my shoulders as I hear the exclamations from Benny and Ciro, who already said her name out loud. I close my eyes and hold her hands tight. I know she hasn’t been gone that long, but the idea that something could’ve happened to her and I wouldn’t have known… It was worse than if I knew something had happened to her.

I squeeze her hands tightly before pulling her into my embrace. I feel the weight lift off my shoulders before burying my face in her neck, breathing in her scent—fresh lavender, a hint of smoke, and something else I can’t place my finger on. I missed her so much that being this close isn’t enough.

Marz laughs and tries to push me away. I know she’ll want to talk, but I can’t leave her. I need to breathe her in, rewire my mind into understanding that she’s here, she’s safe, and she’s mine.

“Marzana—I missed you so much, baby,” I breathe into her ear as she slaps me away. The nickname slipped, but I see the hint of a smile on her lips.

Her eyes twinkle in the low light, her irises swirling with different shades of green. Some shades remind me of a moss-filled forest floor, while others remind me of the deep, vibrant green of the evergreens. All my favorite things.

“Before you start,” Benny’s voice drags me out of my state of bliss. “Care to enlighten us as to why we’ve been stuck in this house for six days, waiting for you to do whatever it is that you did?”

Benny’s tone instantly shifts the mood, annoyance and aggravation lacing every word. I glare at him, and my hold on Marzana tightens. She feels it, too, her once loose and relaxed body stiffening. Those swirling pools of green suddenly fade and become cloudy. Something happened these last six days, and I hope she’ll tell me.

Marz shifts her weight from leg to leg. I don’t know what’s going on in Benny’s mind, but it is obvious it made Marz uncomfortable. I look at Benny, ready to crack his skull open. He knows how torn up I’ve been over Marz, but because Constantine couldn’t relax, he wants to be a dick.

Marz steps to the side to create some separation between us, but I don’t allow that to happen. I step closer to her, bringing my arm around her waist to pull her back to me. She turns and gives me a look that should scare me, but I smile brightly, eager to see just how scary she can get. Her brows raise, clearly liking that I don’t back down. I squeeze her hip in a silent plea to stay, and with a playful roll of her eyes she turns her attention back to Benny. The playfulness falls from her face as it sets in stone. There’s something terrible on her mind, and I hate that.

“Well, I remember the night I was turned, and Alexander—the headmaster of the Academy you and Everett blew up—turned me. Not to mention Onyx was there—turns out he’s a werewolf—and they kidnapped my mother after.” Nadiya appears next to Ciro, her hair damp and wearing an oversized t-shirt that looks brand new. She clearly showered before joining us.

I must’ve zoned out while I looked at Nadiya. Onyx’s name plays in my head, over and over and over again. My ears ring, and the memory starts. Onyx’s face is recognizable anywhere.

Cold hands press against my face. Marz had grabbed me; she can see exactly what I do. I blink twice before coming back to reality.

Rage burns in my gut. I want to break something, anything. I spent years around Onyx. I looked up to him, even wanted to be him at one point. To find out he was something else entirely only solidifies that I was the only one who thought we were actually doing something good. I was the only one who believed in the cause, because I was the only one oblivious to the truth.

I’m falling deeper into the cycle of self hate and pity, which is why I liked when Marz was around. She made it easier to forget.

“Hey, Everett. You’re okay. Come back.” She grips my jaw tight and gives it a hard shake. I don’t know why, but I smile. Like a dumb fool in love, I smile at her.

There is nothing more she can tell me. I know she needed to know who changed her—I can understand that—but that shit is irrelevant to me. Honestly, I could stop this search right now as long as I have her.

“I’m fine.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see light shining over the horizon. A brief glance causes my smile to grow. “The sun’s almost up; let’s go get some rest.”

We can do this another time. She just got back, and I don’t want to share this moment. It seems everyone joined us at some point, and Constantine looks relieved next to us, though the black widow wouldn’t dare show emotions.

“Let’s at least go over what we’re doing next,” Benny says again, doing everything he can to ruin my reunion.

“The plan,” Marz starts before she pauses, her attention shifting to Nadiya. That’s different.

“Is the original plan. We are going to wait for the council to hear our request. We let them know we need help and hope they see the pattern like we do. We have enough facts. I could share my memories with them,” she says calmly, but there is something there. Something in her eyes that tells me she knows this is a terrible idea. There were just no more cards to play. “Then we can ask the one who holds the power of truth⁠—”

Bunny pops up, making everyone jump back, and the conversation goes dead. Her eyes settle on Marz. They moved rapidly, never blinking, while her head moves side to side in glitch-like movements that would send smarter men running. Marz is the only one who doesn’t move away. She stands there and allows Bunny closer to her until she grips her shoulders tightly. Her movements are deliberate and controlled. Slowly, she begins to squat down, her eyes never leaving Bunny’s face until suddenly Bunny is Bunny again.

There’s a brief pause while we all wait for something to be said, but Bunny and Marzana seem to be communicating privately. I take a step closer to them, wanting to help in some way, yet knowing I have nothing to offer.

Bunny’s attention shifts toward me, her eyes still distant. “You should take Marzana to your room. She needs rest.” Her voice is hollow, like there’s no soul behind her words. At least not the soul Bunny exudes.

The old conversation didn’t matter anymore, and what I want is the only thing on my mind. I see an opportunity and I’m taking it. One second I’m standing there, worried and confused, the next I’m throwing Marzana over my shoulder to bring her to the room I secured for us.

It was bold of me to assume she would want to share a room with me. I had hoped my intuition was right and she would’ve ended up here anyways. She probably hates the idea of me choosing something for her, but I didn’t mean it like that. She can leave whenever she wants. I just want her to know that I want her to be here. With me.

If that means she is only going to stay for a few moments to argue with me, so be it. I would let her argue and scream, let her tell me I’m a prick, whatever it is. As long as I get to see that green and yellow flower tucked behind her ear that I somehow managed to keep alive for three days.