Page 6 of Hexes From Exes

“I’ve been watching you,” he said, steepling his fingers in front of his face.

She was aware that whatever body paint he used was pretty good, it wasn’t leaving any transfer on her tan chairs. They cost a fortune, she doubted they’d be easy to clean. It’d probably be better to dye the fabric instead of trying to clean it anyway.

“That’s not creepy,” she replied.

“I’m just trying to figure something out…you’ve been cursed,” he said, entirely too casual for the topic of conversation.

“Cursed?” she asked with a laugh. “Like….whooooo?” She wagged her fingers in the air, imitating what she figured a curse or a hex would look like.

“It’s no laughing matter,” he said seriously, his brow furrowing. “You’ve been cursed by a group of men that claim to be your exes. They say you’ve done irreparable harm to them, and they’d like to see you suffer.”

That shut her up - suffer?

“So, you’re here to what, kill me? Maim me?” she asked, her hand going for the phone again.

“What? No, to curse you,” he clarified.

“Okay well, get on with it,” she replied.

“That’s the thing - I’m not sure how to go about it,” he said. “I’ve been a revenge demon for a long time…”

“…I’m sorry, a revenge demon?” she interrupted.

He frowned, his annoyance growing at the interruptions and how she wasn’t really taking this whole thing seriously. It was pissing him off. “Yes, a revenge demon. My job is to enact revenge on behalf of those who pay the price. In this case, it’s a group of your exes, who wanted you cursed.”

“Ah, very Old Testament, eye for an eye sort of stuff,” she allowed.

“Please don’t talk about that book in my presence, it’s offensive,” he said.

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re really committing to this whole demon thing, aren’t you? How do I get rid of you? Holy water? A priest?”

His jaw tightened at the list, and Stephanie filed it away. She had a feeling that the only way to get rid of this looney was to make him think he’d cursed her or whatever, then call the cops the minute he left. They needed to ramp up security for sure. If someone dressed as a giant horned demon could just waltz up to her office, that was a serious breach. Someone was getting fired.

“As I was saying, I’m not sure how to proceed. Usually they want something more physical, this is emotional warfare they’re trying to declare,” he said.

“Well, if you tell me their names, I can tell you why I dumped them,” she offered.

He shook his head. “Unfortunately, I’ve entered into a binding contract with them, and anonymity is part of it.”

“I’ve no right to face my accuser in a demon court of law?” she asked.

“Why would you have a right to anything? You’re being cursed, you’re guilty,” he retorted.

“According to them,” she shot back. It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that an ex of hers had hired this freak to harass her, maybe scare her. Some of the guys she’d dated were single for a reason - a very, very good reason.

“Well, they’ve paid the price, so the deal has been made,” he said.

“What price?” she asked. “I could double it easily.”

“Not how it works - also, anonymity,” he added.

“Well…what if I entered my own agreement with you?” she countered.

“I can’t nullify what has been agreed upon, the magic is in motion. I just direct it,” he said.

“Well, then let’s not nullify it. You said you’re trying to decide the punishment. How about…I prove to you that these men are the ones in the wrong, not me, and you adjust the punishment as you see fit? If it turns out that they’re insufferable and I broke up with them for a good reason, then you can make the punishment very small. Do you have a time frame to curse me?”

The man dressed as a demon considered this, tapping his jaw. “They didn’t specify a date, no,” he allowed.