Page 78 of Love and the Shameless Lady

Helpless longing suffused her as she wound her arms around his neck. “You know I do.” Her heart thudded, and she could scarcely catch her breath.

He kissed her forehead, her brow, then worked his way down, kiss by kiss. The corner of her eye, her temple, her earlobe, the pulse point below her ear. Helplessly, she let her head fall back so he could kiss her throat.

And at last her mouth again. God help her, she’d never been so hot in her life, not even in her wildest fantasies. His firm body molded perfectly to hers. Her breasts tingled and flushed against his chest. His hands shaped themselves to her bottom and pulled her close. Even through her clothing, she felt the heat and length of his erection.

And then what would happen next came back to her with a crash, and she tore herself away, panting. “I can’t,” she whispered, “no, I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” He was breathing as quickly as she. “Can’t make love to me before marriage? Understood. We’ll wait.”

“No.” She shook her head too wildly. Even in her distress, she knew she looked a fool. “Can’t marry you. Can’t go to bed with you.” Which seemed so unfair and cruel, because she wanted to. “Or anyone.”

“Why not?” He stood away, his exasperation plain. “Just tell me, love. Trust me at least that much.”

She shook her head.

“I won’t hurt you. I won’t betray you or abandon you.” He paused. “I can’t think of anything else to say I won’t do, because I don’t know what you’re afraid of.” Another pause. “Have I done something to make you believe I’m untrustworthy?”

“No,” she cried, “no, it’s not your fault.” It’s mine.It will always be my fault. She couldn’t bear to let him know how useless she was. How bloody boring. “I just don’t want to. That’s all. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I like kisses, but that’s all I want.”

“Don’t lie to me, Daisy. There’s no shame in craving passion.”

“I’m not ashamed!” No, she was mortified.

“I suppose it’s all for the best.” His voice was sober and flat. “I would dearly love to take you to bed, but it’s not the right time.”

“There won’t be any other time,” she said. “The threat to my life is practically over, and therefore so is our association.”

“No, it bloody well isn’t,” he said. “Neither the threat nor the association. I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you in the inn, and my desire has only increased since I’ve come to know you. I know you desire me, too, but something happened to you, perhaps when that smuggler Reggie bedded you, making you afraid of sexual intimacy.”

The mortification doubled. “How dare you speak to me in such a way?”

“How dare you retreat into pretense?” he countered. “You’re no delicate flower, and I refuse to treat you as one. You long for passion. You are naturally a sensual woman, or you wouldn’t have seduced that fellow.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, and as I told you before, it’s none of your business.”

“The first few times I touched you, even in complete innocence, you flinched. You’ve since become accustomed to my touch, which leads me to believe you will enjoy even more of it.”

She bit her lip. He might be right, but she couldn’t risk it.

“I’ve given you every reason not to be afraid of me, so that fearful response comes from elsewhere. Unless you tell me otherwise, I cannot help but assume the smuggler frightened you in some way.”

“I am not afraid,” she snarled. “Of anything. Please leave.” She felt her lip quivering and suppressed it hard. She would not cry. She would not.

“I can’t bed you—I can’t marry you—if I have no idea at what point you will suddenly shrink from me.”

“You’re not going to marry me,” she snapped.

“I want to marry you.” His voice rose. “Don’t you understand? I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, but most of all, I want you to enjoy yourself with me.”

She had no idea what to say to that. Earlier, when he’d said he was in love with her, she’d interpreted it as lust. This was different. It sounded real. As if it would last forever.

He lowered his voice again to its habitual calm. “If I’m properly informed, I have a far better chance of giving you pleasure. That’s what I long to do, sweetheart. To give you pleasure.”

God, he was killing her with kindness, for she daren’t believe what he’d said about love. She clenched her fists. “Please leave,” she said again. She couldn’t bear the sadness, no, the pity in his gaze. Tears pricked behind her eyes. She willed them away.

“Very well.” He let out a long, exasperated sigh.

Her heart twisted with misery. She didn’t want to hurt him. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but it seemed to be her destiny.