Page 93 of Love and the Shameless Lady

She clasped her hands together. “So now you know, and you understand why you needn’t marry me.”

Daisy steeled herself for the final rejection.

“For perhaps the hundredth time,” Julian said, “I want to marry you.” He stood and held out a hand.

She clasped her hands tightly, ignoring his outstretched one. “Why?”

“Because I love you.” He dropped his hand. “For so many reasons that I can’t list them all. Your courage in adversity. Your intelligence, which you use in such worthwhile ways—writing, cookery, and who knows what else you might choose to do? Your forthrightness, which means I can be forthright, too. Do you have any idea what a comfort that is to me? Your beauty and vivacity—” He broke off. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Why must he make her say it again? She forced the words out. “But I’ll be boring in bed.”

He shook his head. “Listen to me. Your Reggie was . . . abnormal, I believe. He was still erect after an hour inside you, correct?”

“Yes, I told you.” She paused, frowning. “Why, isn’t that usual?”

“God, no. Ten minutes maybe, longer if it’s the second or third go round.”

“Second or third go round?” That sounded appalling.

“Only if both lovers want it,” Julian said. “Sweetheart, the problem wasn’t yours, it was his.”

She twisted her hands together. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t say for sure, but it sounds to me as if he couldn’t reach completion. That explains his anger and frustration. He thought perhaps doing it with a lady would excite him enough, but it didn’t help. He didn’t boast of his conquest because he was ashamed of his own inadequacy, and perhaps out of fear of your brother, too.”

“You mean . . . if I’d kept my mouth shut, my mother might never have known?”

“Possibly, depending on whether or not people at the inn gossiped about seeing you there.”

“They wouldn’t have wanted to run afoul of Colin either.” Daisy pondered that. “I might never have been known as a ruined woman.”

“But you also might not have written those books or learned to cook and bake.”

“That’s true.” How amazing. Reasons to be grateful for her own folly. “Thank you for pointing that out.”

“Come, give me my ten minutes now.” Julian tossed his shirt over his head.

She blinked, taking in his broad chest with a smattering of fairish hair. He was very good to look at. He began to unbutton his fall.

“Although to tell the truth, I might not make it past two minutes,” he said. “I haven’t been with a woman in months, and I want you so badly it hurts.”

He dropped his breeches and then his smallclothes, and his erect penis jutted out.

She bit her lip. Hard.

He chuckled. “As far as I know it’s perfectly normal and not extraordinary as to size. I assure you, we will fit together perfectly.”

Yearning suffused her, filled her to bursting. She believed him. Almost. If they did fit together, if she didn’t hate it, and if he didn’t find her boring, perhaps she would be able to marry him. It was too much to hope for, but she now knew, just looking at him, that she would no longer have the strength to refuse.

Shakily, she began to unbutton her nightdress. “This feels almost like a wedding night.”

“In a way, it is. You are, in every way that matters, a virgin, and I’m the lucky man privileged to make you his own. Of course, we’ll do this again on our official wedding night. And before and after that, too.”

His enthusiasm was infectious. Incredibly, she found herself smiling.

He lifted her nightdress, and she raised her arms to help him take it off. He stopped.

“What?” She couldn’t see with the fabric covering her face. “Why did you stop?”