Page 39 of The Smuggler’s Escape

There was no calculation in his words; he was bewitched, his confession fueled solely by love.

And yet, Noelle’s face fell—crumpled, almost—and she turned hastily away.

Something close to panic washed through Richard. “What did I do wrong? What did I say?”

Noelle shook her head, and tears glistened at the corners of her eyes.

He got a hold of himself. “Here I am trying to mend my ways—be polite, be proper, be considerate—and you shrink away as if I’d hit you.” He noticed a sulky note creeping into his voice and banished it. “Most women like to be told they’re beautiful.”

She flapped a hand at him, her eyes on the fields on the far side of the curricle. He’d made another mistake. He shouldn’t have mentioned other women.

Best to confess and get it over with. “I hope you didn’t take the gossip about me seriously. My father’s reports were greatly exaggerated. I did have a mistress whilst I was away, but only one. No debauchery at all.”

She said absolutely nothing.

“Surely you don’t hold it against me that I had a mistress? I was obliged to stay there for years.”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

Surprisingly, he was beginning to understand the workings of the female mind. Clearly, it did matter to her. Very much.

But he couldn’t bring himself to confess that he’d taken a mistress at the orders of the Home Office, for appearance’s sake. No young man about town went without women, so Richard had compromised by having only one. A pleasant girl, amiable and obliging, but not his Noelle.

“I could have told you I was celibate the entire time, but I’d much rather be truthful.” Not entirely so, though—for as he admitted to himself, he would have taken a mistress sooner or later out of sheer frustration, whether the Home Office required it or not.

She took a deep breath. “I said, it doesn’t matter.”

“I compensated her well,” he added.

She was silent, but her fingers curled into fists.

“It behooves a man of honor to provide for his mistress,” he said.

Nothing, but the fists curled tighter.

Because he had no idea what was wrong, he blundered on. “With a generous gift at parting.”

Still nothing. Perhaps this was something to do with her revolutionary views on justice, equality, et cetera. “You need not fear that she will suffer. She was grateful, for now she has enough money to marry a farmer on whom she has set her sights.”

“Stop it,” she said through clenched teeth. “Just stop it.”

For a few moments, he did, but silence would get him nowhere. “It was an obligation.”

“I understand perfectly, and it has nothing to do with me.” She frowned. “Why did you tell your mother I was having qualms?”

“That was her interpretation. I told her you refused to marry me and stipulated that our engagement be temporary.”

“That was supposed to be a secret!”

“I don’t recall swearing myself to secrecy,” Richard said. “All I got for my trouble, though, was a scold. She’s convinced your refusal is due to my brutal behavior last night.”

Noelle shook her head.

“I told her you like sparring with me,” he said.

“Yes, it was fun when we first met.”

Richard held his peace. He would get to the bottom of this in due time.