Page 47 of The Smuggler’s Escape

“Oh, for God’s sake!” Richard shouted, startling the greys. With an effort, he got a hold of himself. “In that case, I shall have to guess.” If she were a spy, she wouldn’t confess to it, so he would offer any other reason he could think of. “Are you in love with someone else?”

“No!” The vehemence of her denial convinced him of its truth.

“Are you secretly married?”

“What? Of course not!”

“Are you with child by some other man?”

That brought her head around, eyes wide and drowning in shock. “No! I would never, ever . . .! I kissed a few men, Richard, but that was all. Not that you have any right to judge me on that score, since I am refraining from judging you.”

A relief, but it brought him no closer to an answer. “I conclude, then, that you love me but feel, for some reason you are reluctant to disclose, that you cannot marry me.” He pretended to ponder. “Are you perhaps addicted to lawbreaking? I daresay I should find it tedious if we were to do it too frequently, but if you wish to engage in the occasional smuggling run or highway robbery for the fun of it, I’d be glad to oblige you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be foolish.”

“Well, then . . . Are you being blackmailed, perhaps?”

At least she was participating in the discussion, although she must think he had lost his mind. “Who would blackmail me?”

“I haven’t a clue, but unless you give me one, I am forced to resort to increasingly wild guesses. I would suggest that you are actually a member of the male sex in disguise, if I didn’t already know differently. I might imagine we are long-lost brother and sister, but that is too far-fetched even for me. You cannot be my mother, and I am definitely not your father, and . . .”

Noelle gave a wild little laugh. “Please don’t ask me anything more. I can’t answer you.”

“I think,” Richard said, “that if you put your mind to it, you will find that you can.” He tried another tack. “If you don’t marry me, what will you do?”

She sat up and looked wildly around, seemingly desperate not to answer that question. The cart and the traveling carriage had fallen behind around the last bend. “Where are they? We’re supposed to be protecting them! Oh, I wish we’d had time to make some better plans!”

He eased the curricle to the side of the road and stopped. “If we stick too close to them, it will look suspicious, but I’ll wait if you insist.” That sounded almost surly. He tried politeness. “Would you be more comfortable riding with the ladies?”

She slumped. “No, because your mother is vexed with me, and Lucretia is so happy for me that it’s more than I can bear, knowing I will have to disappoint her and maybe never . . .” She stopped.

“Maybe never . . .?”

“I don’t wish to discuss it.”

He infused as much tenderness as he could muster into his voice. “Maybe you’ll never see Lucretia again? Nonsense. I won’t let that foul old man separate you.”

She stifled a sob, pulled out a handkerchief, and carefully wiped her eyes.

The Dalbeys’ cart rounded the bend behind them, and Richard set his greys in motion once again. If he’d been on the ground, he would have gotten down on his knees to beg, so perhaps, taking his dignity into consideration, it was a lucky thing they were in the curricle. But he mustn’t let slip this chance to take advantage of Noelle’s tender heart.

“I almost feel inclined to whine like a child,” Richard said. “It’s completely out of character for me to confess this, but oh queen of my heart and soul, it hurts, it positively hurts, that you worry about vexing my mother and disappointing Lucretia, but give not a single thought to the pain you are causing me.”

~ ~ ~

Noelle’s throat tightened, but she took a calming breath and then another until at last she could speak. In a croak not much above a whisper, she said, “Richard, I’m trying not to hurt you.”

“What the devil is that supposed to mean?”

She could hardly blame him for losing patience, but she shook her head. “I can’t explain.”

“You must explain.” He sounded disgusted. “It’s unfair of you to take a unilateral decision about a matter which affects us both equally.”

“Why can’t you just accept that I won’t marry you?”

“Because, my love, I will be very unhappy without you. Therefore, I refuse to give you up.”

Mordieu, she hadn’t bargained for this much hurt. The more time she spent with him, the more painful it would be to leave, and how horrid for him to find he had been abandoned.