Page 149 of Sunrise & Serenity

“So while you were angry at me for not telling you about the residency, you were already planning to leave?”

Holden looks wrecked for half a second before his expression shutters. “I didn’t decide until today.”

The words scrape my insides raw.

“You don’t get to do that.” It comes out as a whisper.

River shifts, grimacing, while Quinn looks at the floor as if he wants absolutely no part of this conversation.

Holden’s expression barely changes, but his shoulders draw tight.

“It happened fast,” he says carefully. “Rick told me about a position⁠—”

“A position you accepted within five minutes?”

Sterling exhales hard and drags a hand over the back of his neck. “Hell, Holden, you couldn’t give us more than a day’s notice?”

Holden’s jaw tightens. “There’s a sponsor event this weekend I need to be at.”

“So that’s it?” Chance asks flatly. “You’re just gone again?”

“Chance,” Harrison mutters.

“No.” He shakes his head. “Seriously? You finally start acting like part of this place again, and now you’re leaving?”

Holden’s face shutters further, but not before I see the accusation land.

God, I feel it too. Because over the last few weeks, I’ve seen it. Holden laughing with River. Working horses with Chance. Sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee while Taryn argues with Quinn over cereal.

Taryn’s voice comes quietly from behind me. “I thought you liked being home.”

For half a second, something raw cuts across his face before disappearing.

God. Why does he always look like he’s bracing for impact?

He looks out the window, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “It’s good money.”

Sterling lets out a humorless laugh. “That’s what this is about?”

Holden zeroes in on his older brother. “You’re the one who told me the expansion’s costing a fortune,” he says. “Chance dumped money into the breeding stock. Feed prices are up again. I can help more if I go.”

“We didn’t ask you to help that way,” Sterling shoots back.

“No,” he says roughly. “But I can.”

The room goes quiet again. Because underneath all the talk about money and helping the ranch, I think we all hear the same thing.

Goodbye.

Holden’s gaze shifts to me again, his throat working. “You should take the residency.”

The words hit like a slap. He’s telling me to go again. All I can do is stare at him.

The change in his expression is subtle. Almost imperceptible, but it’s there. He’s trying to give nothing away, but the strain still shows. This isn’t easy for him either.

“You’re talented, Sage,” he says quietly. “You shouldn’t give that up.”

It might not be easy for him, but he’s already let me go. I blink back the tears that sting my eyes and nod once. Though speaking feels dangerous, I manage to look him in the eye and say, “Enjoy the rodeo.”