Page 32 of Sunrise & Serenity

“It’s good seeing you around more.” His voice is lower, for my ears alone. “Dad and Taryn have missed you.”

A snort escapes me. “I’ve been living here for the last six months.”

“Not sure living is the right word for it.”

I put down a plate a little harder than necessary. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He doesn’t answer straight away, continuing to scrape food scraps into the bin. When he’s done, he props his hip against the counter and crosses his arms. “Remember when we were teenagers, and we’d go out to the watering hole and spend hours fishing and swimming?”

I nod, picking up another plate. Where the hell is he going with this?

“We’d just shoot the shit, talk about girls, school, that kind of thing.”

“I remember.”

“When was the last time you did something like that?”

I stare at him. “That’s stuff you do as a kid. We’re adults. We’ve got better things to do.”

His dark brows lower. “That’s debatable. But answer the question. When was the last time?”

I cast my mind back, searching for the last time I simply hung out with someone, just relaxing and having fun. I come up blank. “There’s not much chance to do that kind of thing on the circuit.”

“I’m sure. Would it surprise you to know that I remember the exact last time you and I did it?”

I shift my weight. “What’s the point of this conversation?”

He straightens, letting his arms fall to his sides. “The last time you and I hung out together was the day before Mom died.”

Every muscle in my shoulders locks tight, and I scrub harder at the plate in my hands. “Makes sense. Don’t think any of us were in the mood to have fun after that.”

He still doesn’t look away. “It’s been twelve years, Holden.”

I set the plate down. “And?”

“You left.” His voice remains even. “And every time you’ve come back, you’ve acted like someone forced you to.”

I lean back against the counter, arms crossed. “I rode professionally. Me not being around wasn’t a shock to anybody.”

Sterling nods once. “You’re right. But staying gone this long was.”

Something barbed twists in my gut, but I ignore it. “Coming back now wasn’t part of the plan,” I say flatly. “But I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah.” Sterling eyes the dinner table. “You are.”

I glare at him. “If you’ve got something to say, then spit it out.”

His lips thin. “I think somewhere along the way, you got so used to leaving that you stopped knowing how to stay.”

The words land harder than they should. Mostly because I don’t entirely know that he’s wrong.

I shove away from the counter anyway. “That’s bullshit.”

“Is it?” He studies me for another second, then lets out a heavy breath. “No one’s asking you to decide your whole life tonight. But sooner or later, you’re going to have to quit standing in the doorway.”

With that, he hangs his dish towel over the rack, then walks away and takes a seat next to Taryn like the conversation never happened.

I stay where I am, jaw tight, shoulder aching dully beneath my shirt.