Page 110 of Lucky 22

The car starts moving as I hear, “Ladies and gentlemen. Boysand girls. Wonder Land welcomes you to the Galactic Wars Weekend!”

I do a little happy dance in my spot because I’m just sopsyched to see the crowds.

“As part of the Galactic Wars Weekend, we are proudto present the Legends of the Galaxy, a very special celebrity motorcade!”

“That’s you, Ms. Lucas!” Tara says as she walks alongsidethe car.

“Do you stay with us for the entire parade?”

“No, just until you get past the backstage gates. Everyonewalking has to be in costume. But don’t worry, you’re in good hands withJeremy.”

“Thanks, Tara.”

Before I know it, we’re through the gates and driving slowlyalong the midway, and I want to stop and pinch myself.

It’s really happening.

I’m one of the stars of a Wonder Land parade.

We go along, and people are calling my name and snappingpictures, and it’s so much better than I ever imagined. When we get to aroundabout, I spot my family. They’re all here to support me, smiling andwaving, and I swear it means more than all the thousands of other people hereto do the same.

Mom and Dad give me a thumbs up. My sisters jump up and downand wave, right along with Christian’s siblings and mom. My heart is ready toburst with love. I truly have the best hype squad, and it makes my heart sohappy that our families get along so well.

I briefly shut my eyes and imagine Christian standing therewith them, cheering me on and beaming with pride. One day, I know he’ll be ableto attend these types of things, but I’m so grateful for my family and friendsin the meantime.

As the car continues on, I turn one last time and wave tothem as tears gently sting my eyes because…my wish came true.

I finally made it.

The pace doesn’t slow down.

In late summer, I’m back in LA, and Christian’s up inToronto. We’re spending more and more time apart, and neither of us is happyabout it. My trips to see him are long and expensive, and I’m seriouslywondering if I can keep it up. As much as I love my role with The Echo Wars,I don’t know if I want to pursue anything else. My focus needs to be on mymarriage. My husband. And trying to do even more with my career is keeping mefrom him.

I know I can handle all of my work for playing and promotingAshla, but anything beyond that feels like too much.

And it breaks my heart. But it seems impossible to findbalance at this point. The scales are completely tipped.

I’m so tired of traveling, yet here I am, packing my littlecarry-on for another quick trip to be with Christian. I can’t wait to see himand feel his arms around me as we curl up in bed tonight to watch some TV.

I wish he were only a few hours away, but he’s not. Theflight alone is a little over five hours, and that doesn’t include the twohours at the airport or dealing with customs. It turns into an entire day, andI don’t love it.

“Hey!” Jen says as she pops her head into my room. “Youalmost ready?”

She’s driving me to the airport. Normally, I take a cab, butshe offered today, and I’m thankful. “Almost.”

“Uh-oh. You okay?” She steps farther into the room. “Yousound tired. Do you feel all right? Can I get you anything?”

“You’re sweet. I’m just…” Pausing, I sigh. “I hate traveldays to Toronto, that’s all. They’re so long and…ugh. I can’t wait for theseason to be over.”

“Do you think they’ll re-sign Christian?”

“He doesn’t think so and mentioned they might trade him, butwho knows, right?” I toss my cosmetic bag into my suitcase and then zip itshut. “Ready.”

She just stands there studying me.

“What?” I ask after the silence gets awkward.

Her smile is serene. “I don’t like it when you’re cranky.You’ve been in such a good mood lately. It makes me sad to see you do acomplete one-eighty.”