Page 65 of The Boss

“Damn it,” I mutter.

“Don’t be upset with him. He was being an idiot, and he needed advice, so he had to tell me,” she says.

“I’m not that. It’s another secret or lie we’ve told you,” I reply quietly.

“I know most of the things you’ve all kept from me are to keep me or my kids safe, so I’m not mad about it. I just want Gino to stop worrying about me. And I know why he’s worried. I know he’s nervous that I’ll get severe postpartum depression and start acting differently. And I understand his concern. Of course, I’m anxious about all of this. Of course, I feel like I’m going to be a terrible mother when I’m being the best mom I can be. But those feelings are normal.”

I just nod my head.

I’ve never had children, so I can’t debate how she’s feeling. All I can do right now is listen.

“I know I’m in a better spot than most. I have a group of friends who are like family to help me with everything. You coming over every day has been a Godsend to make sure I’m keeping this place clean and that I’m not falling behind on anything. Alonso, even though he’s here for guarding purposes, is still a listening ear when I need it and gives me updates when my brother is too scared to.

Then there’s my brother. I know he’s trying to find Mateo, but he isn’t pushing me away. He’s telling me what I should know. He’s let me help with some things, like the deal you’re trying to close. And helping when someone gets hurt. I understand he’s keeping secrets, and I know he’s scared I’ll become stuck in my anxiety about everything. He sometimes forgets that I’ve been on my own before.”

“He knows that,” I reassure her. “He thought he would be out of this life by now. The Russo deal was one of the last ones he needed to do that was mafia-related. And then all this shit happened.”

“Eventually he’s going to need to pull rank or something because waiting for Lorenzo to make the wrong move isn’t working,” she says.

“It isn’t, but he knows if he takes things too far, he’ll start a war, and that’s the last thing he wants.”

“You know what I’m the most scared of?” she whispers.

“What’s that?”

“That Mateo will never come home, and I’ll have to tell my kids one day that he was kidnapped trying to do the right thing for them, and he doesn’t even know they exist.”

I can hear the emotion in her voice. She’s kept her head held high through all of this so far, but I don’t know how much longer she can do that.

After we spend the rest of the day in a lighter mood, I make the walk home.

Walking through the door, I smell food, and my stomach growls.

Making my way into the kitchen, I see Gino cooking. It smells delicious.

“Hi,” I squeak out.

He walks over to me and lifts my chin, leaning down, and he kisses me.

“Hey, bella.” He licks his lips, moving his hands around my waist.

“What did you make?”

“One of your favorites,” he replies, smiling.

“Hmm, and what’s that?” I ask.

“Carbonara.”

“That’s pretty complicated.”

He snorts. “As long as the eggs don’t curdle, I think I've got it handled.”

“Who knew you knew how to cook something like that?” I joke.

“Well, I’ve had the best teacher,” he says.

“And who’s that?”