Page 156 of Power Play

Every muscle in my body went still.

She knew it immediately. Regret flashed across her face while I stared at her.

“That’s what you think of me?”

Her lips parted. “I didn’t mean—”

“You did.”

“I’m pissed.”

“That doesn’t make the words disappear.”

She rubbed both hands over her face. “Ryan, I’m trying to understand what the fuck you want. You tell me you want me, act like we’re together, tell me there’s nobody else, but you won’t sleep with me, and now you’re leaving. What am I supposed to think?”

“You’re supposed to believe what I’ve been telling you from the fucking beginning.”

“How do I know that stays true when you’re gone?”

That hurt worse than the puck-bunny comment.

I laughed once because the alternative was saying something I couldn’t take back. Every private thing I had given her shifted beneath the question. My mother’s dictionary. The Spanish notebook. The promise that I wouldn’t disappear. The certainty I handed her every time she asked whether another woman could change my mind.

Charm trusted my attention when it reassured her. The moment fear became louder, my character turned negotiable.

Her eyes widened. “Then what the fuck are we doing?”

“I trust you.”

“No, you want to trust me.”

Her face crumpled. “I do trust you.”

“You just told me you think I might get on a bus tomorrow and fuck whatever woman knows my jersey number.”

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“It came out of your mouth.”

“I’m scared!”

“And I’m angry.”

My voice rose for the first time, and Charm stepped back.

I hated the distance immediately, but I kept going because loving her couldn’t mean swallowing everything that hurt me until she felt safe again.

“I’m allowed to be angry when you decide my character is negotiable because you’re scared.”

She stared at me.

I dragged both hands over my face and turned away long enough to get control of myself. When I looked back, she had wrapped the jacket around her body again and crossed her arms beneath her breasts. Her eyes were glassy, her breathing uneven, and the determination she carried through my door had tipped into panic.

I knew she was spiraling.

I cared enough to want to catch her.

I cared about myself enough to hold the boundary that started this fight.