Page 395 of Power Play

“You make it too easy.”

“No, Ryan. I hurt you. I didn’t teach you how to be cruel.”

“I mastered cruel long before you fucked me up.”

“I know that too.”

A bitter laugh left me. “You know everything tonight.”

“I know enough to recognize that you’re trying to make me hate you.”

“I don’t give a fuck whether you hate me.”

“Then why did you look for me?”

My attention snapped toward hers. Charm’s chin lifted.

“I saw you.”

“You sound hopeful.”

“I saw you look toward Bliss and Aura after every goal.”

“They’re my friends.”

“You looked beside them.”

I threw the broom against the pantry wall. It hit hard enough to make her flinch before clattering onto the floor.

“Fine. I looked for you.”

Her breath caught.

“I looked after the first goal. I looked after the second. I looked after the third like some pathetic asshole who thought maybe you would appear if I wanted it badly enough. When the horn sounded, I wished like fuck that everything was different.” I leaned closer, the words full of seething rage. “Are you happy now?”

She flinched. “No.”

“You wanted the truth.”

“I wanted to know if any part of you still needed me there.”

“I wanted you there even knowing the cost of needing you.”

Her tears spilled over. I pointed toward the door.

“Take that shit to the other cabin.”

“I’m not using my tears against you.”

“They’re working anyway.”

“Why? Do they make you feel guilty?”

“Fuck, Charm.” I paced away before turning back toward her. “This is why I feel guilty. You cry, and everything in me still wants to fix it. I don’t want to fix you right now. I don’t want to hold you or tell you it’ll be okay when I know nothing will ever be okay again.”

“I’m not asking you to fix me.”

“I can’t fucking fix you.”