Page 416 of Power Play

“I can’t be Ryan here,” I said. “Ryan built a life in Kimball Falls. He let himself trust people. He fell in love with a woman who could reach every place he spent his life protecting, and he believed she would follow him anywhere.”

My good hand pressed against the new tattoo beneath my shirt.

“El Cuchillo is the only reason I’m still moving. He gets me out of bed. He does the exercises. He signs the paperwork and packs the apartment. He knows how to survive leaving something that feels impossible to live without.”

The room blurred through the tears I refused to wipe away.

“Maybe Milwaukee will silence that rage long enough for me to find myself again. Maybe it won’t. Maybe this is who I am now.” I looked at the people who’d carried me through the worst six weeks of my life. “But I have to fucking try because I don’t know how much longer I can stay here and keep feeling this dead.”

Briggs stood. “You aren’t dead.”

“Feels close.”

“You’re hurt.”

“I know.”

Cade came around the table. “El Cuchillo isn’t the only one keeping you alive.”

My gaze moved across all of them.

“No,” I admitted. “I know, some reasonable part of me knows that. Rage is just easier.”

“You have us,” Easton said.

“You’ll always have us,” Rider added.

Aura wiped beneath her eyes, and Bliss had already stopped trying to hide her tears.

Cade stopped in front of me. “We want Ryan back too.”

The words struck deeper than I expected.

“I don’t know how to be him anymore.”

“Then we’ll keep reminding you until you remember,” Cade said. “Milwaukee doesn’t get to erase him.”

“I’m going there because there isn’t anything of her yet.”

“She isn’t the only person who made Ryan who he is.”

My eyes moved across the room again. Cade was right. Charm’s fingerprints covered Kimball Falls, but so did theirs. This city held every version of my chosen family, and leaving it meant stepping away from more than the woman I couldn’t forgive.

Nobody told me I was running because they understood that I was. They also knew I didn’t have another way to survive it yet.

My attention moved toward Briggs. “The books you took from the lodge are still in your closet at Hockey House?”

His expression changed. “Yeah.”

“Take them to her.”

“Ryan.”

“Wait until I’m settled in Milwaukee and there isn’t anything else of mine here for her to find. Then give them to her.”

Briggs studied me. “You sure?”

“No.”