Page 19 of Keel

“Yeah,” she answered. “I don’t know why I stayed with him.”

“It’s easy to look back and see the mistake. You shouldn’t have stayed, but you did. Now it’s time to work on forgiving yourself and making better decisions.”

She nodded, knowing he was right. Though it had been satisfying to see Forest in the back of a police car, she still needed to keep her head on straight and ignore the urge to do something stupid like grab a drink to celebrate.

She had to force herself to remember that wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to end up back where she’d been with Forest. It would be easy to just succumb to the madness of drowning in her guilt, but she wanted to live. She wanted to experience happiness, to find the light instead of letting the darkness cloud her.

Keel could tell that the joy of seeing Forest going down had worn off, and now Frankie might be experiencing some remorse. It was natural to backslide when facing demons.

“Hey, want to read some, then we can talk about what you read later?”

She blew out a heavy breath, and he saw pain flash over her face. He felt for her. Pain like what she experienced freaking hurt.

“Sure. It’s what I need.”

“Or we could take a break, maybe watch a movie?”

She shook her head. “No. I need to read for at least a little. How about I spend a few hours reading, then we can watch a movie tonight?” They were almost back to the condo, and the itch inside her brain was bugging her. She needed to take on whatever feelings seeing Forest had brought up and deal with them.

“Sure. That sounds great. Come over when you are ready.”

“Thank you. You really are a good friend.”

He nodded, knowing that to be a good friend, he had to tamp down the desire running through him. He would keep it at bay and be what she needed. He didn’t want to ruin it for her, and it was easy to see that she was still making it day by day. There wasn’t any reason for him to push for more from her. He was in control of his emotions, and this was the right thing to do.

Chapter 11

After she finished eating dinner alone, she headed to Keel’s place and knocked. Journaling her thoughts and emotions was exhausting, but putting them on paper seemed to help. She’d come so far since Keel had loaned her that book. She no longer felt that sinking into a pit of despair was her only option.

“Hey,” Keel said as a smile spread across his lips. “Did you have a good day?”

“I think so. I mean, it was emotional, but I feel like something changed inside. Like a lock clicked and something leaked out.”

“Leaked out. Is that good?”

“I think so. I feel better.”

“Do you have a preference for movies?”

She shrugged. “I don’t like war movies.”

His lips tipped up on the side. “I hate war movies. I like funny, feel-good movies. Not crass humor. Honestly, I like Disney movies and romcoms.”

“How about a romcom?”

“Okay, let’s pick one.”

They settled on an old one with Hugh Grant in it. They laughed, and at one point she cried and noticed Keel wiping his eyes. She never had calm, normal nights like this with Forest. Everything had been wild and crazy, like an endless party. If he wasn’t going to a private party, they had to go out dancing, or they went to Atlantic City to gamble. It was exhausting.

It felt good just hanging out together like they were friends. They were chilling, and there wasn’t any pressure to perform.

The movie ended, and Keel put his hands behind his head and stretched out his legs. “That was good.”

“It was.” She should go. She knew it was time. She needed sleep, and if she stayed, she might do something stupid like lean over and kiss him. That would be a huge mistake.

Keel had closed his eyes at some point, and she studied his face, learning the slope of his nose and the small creases near his eyes. She should stop staring. The last thing she wanted to do was to transmit the growing feelings she had toward Keel.

Getting her head straight was too important. She didn’t want to ruin her progress by jumping into something she didn’t understand.