Page 8 of Keel

Keel let go of a groan, and she knew he’d deciphered what happened. She still had to say it even if it pained her.

“The fire spread quickly. Because I was downstairs near the pool exit, I got out. My parents never made it out of their bed. They took sleeping pills and slept with earplugs in. They didn’t even wake up. I killed my parents.”

He shook his head. “Accidents happened.”

“I killed them just like that drunk driver.”

“No.” He squeezed her hands, his lips thinned.

She met his gaze, searching his nearly gray eyes. Awful feelings tumbled inside. She’d done so much wrong in her life, so much she felt bad for. As a teen, she’d been stupid and selfish. Her vanity and ego had nearly gotten her killed, and because of her stupidity, she’d killed her parents.

“Mistakes happen. You didn’t intentionally kill your parents.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she let go of a heavy sob. “Close enough. I killed them. They died because of something I did. I’ve never forgiven myself.”

Keel shook his head, then did something she didn’t expect. He pulled her arms and then lifted her from her chair, pulling her into his lap. At first, she wanted to fight his hold, but his hold was gentle, his touch kind as he held her and cried with her.

She adjusted and realized that she could have easily broken his hold and slid away from him, but she didn’t want to. It felt good being in his lap, protected by his strong arms.

“You made a mistake. It was an awful mistake, but you didn’t do it to hurt anyone.”

“For a while, the cops talked about charging me. They never did. I felt so bad that I thought I should have been in prison.”

“The fire did enough to ruin things for you. Prison wouldn’t have helped. It wasn’t like you were a drunk kid taking your parents’ car out for a spin.”

A sob escaped, and he squeezed her close. The first time Forest hit her, she believed she deserved it. She believed that for a long time. Maybe even still believed it.

When her tears finally stopped, she climbed from his lap, and he moved his chair back to where he’d been before. They finished their food as they watched the waves roll in and people walk along the shoreline, some getting wet, others staying dry.

The sun had slipped behind the building, and the shade cooled her. She pulled her legs up and put them in the sweatshirt with her.

“You cold? Do you want to move into the sun?”

“I shouldn’t. I’ll get burned. Did you put sunscreen on?”

He nodded. “I did.”

“I forgot.”

“Do you have any sunscreen over there?”

She let go of a sigh. “There were two tubes in the bathroom. They were left over from when someone else stayed here. If it were high season, I wouldn’t be able to stay. She has two guests coming in a couple of weeks, so I’ll have to leave.” Another sigh escaped. “Forest knows where I am, so my hiding spot isn’t so great now.”

“What’s the deal with him? Why won’t he let you just leave?”

“I’m convenient property. He likes bossing people around, and I never fought back.”

The sound he made deep in his throat sounded like he didn’t like her answer. He didn’t say anything, and she was glad for his silence. She wasn’t sure she could take more.

It was hard enough knowing she was a royal fuck up in everything so far in life. If Forest killed her, she would say she deserved it, and no one should mourn her. Hope had left her life after she’d burned the family home. She didn’t have a family, nor a home. Alone was what she deserved.

Chapter 5

Keel couldn’t imagine how awful Frankie felt about what happened. She’d turned on a stove, and then a fire started. For the longest time, he hated the man who killed his parents. Then he realized he was giving that man power.

He finally forgave him, but it had taken a lot of work and reading, a lot of self-reflections, especially on rucks. It’s how he’d learned meditation. Long rucks meant a lot of time alone. Being with only yourself for half a day, longer when they were in intense training mode, had left him with nothing to do other than think.

Some of the books he read had helped. Most self-reflections were difficult, but he learned a lot about himself in the hundreds of hours he spent rucking and orienteering.