Page 23 of The Beta Test

The sight of the hockey puck keychain I gifted him dangling from the ignition catches my attention. I’m glad he’s using it, but seeing it there makes me feel… odd.

“Okayyy. You know you could get my number from Jenna, right?” I open the door and glance back at him again, and he grins bigger. Maybe he’s having a mental breakdown of some kind that I should bring up with Jenna—he’s been exceptionally odd this school year. “I’ll be right back with Hunter.”

After smoothing things over with Hunter’s principal and reassuring her that this won’t happen ever again, we all drive in Jake’s truck to my house, listening to Hunter chatter all the way home.

Chapter Ten

The ruffles on my high collar need one more fluff, and my skirt sits a little crooked until I smooth it down. Now the outfit looks intentional—moody, early 1900s, like I belong in an old black-and-white photograph. One more pin slides in at the nape of my neck, securing the knot of hair. The lacy fabric around my neck is itchy, but it’s nothing I can’t handle for a few hours. I rock back and forth in front of the mirror, checking every angle.

From my desk, my phone lights up with a text.

Jenna: I’m soooo bummed you can’t come to the party tonight.

Me: Me too! You’ll have to tell me all about it later.

Jenna: Will do. Steve will be there. *drool emoji*

I thumbs-up her last text and put my phone down. Was I actually disappointed to miss the party? Not really. Before Braden left for college, parties didn’t bother me as much because we were always together, but now it seems like I mostly sit in Jenna’s periphery. Or hang out with Jake, but that’s a more recent development. Without Braden, my social life has gaps with no obvious way to fix them. There are more important things on my mind these days anyway.

Thoughts of Braden make my chest tighten, a feeling that’s becoming all too common. He used to exclusively bring feelings of joy and happiness, but now it’s either anxiety or a surge of anger. Between dealing with Analiese, my mom, and the whole Hunter/bus debacle, I hadn’t had much time to analyze the conversation I overheard on Braden’s phone to my satisfaction. I also hadn’t texted Braden about it because I wasn’t sure what I would even say, and sadly, it was getting to the point where I didn’t feel confident Braden would even answer me.

I glance at my reflection in the mirror again. What would a woman like Marie Curie do? She’d likely think through things logically, with facts, then come to a conclusion that explains the evidence. Unfortunately, my emotions are high, clouding my judgment. Who else would I ask? Jenna would tell me to dump Braden immediately, but Jenna also loves drama of any kind and she has been hot and cold with Braden over the years. My mom would usually be a sounding board for issues, but she’s dealing with her own problems.

What about my second connection? They seem fairly logical and wouldn’t know any of the personal details involved, especially if I’m careful to keep everything vague and gender-neutral. After grabbing my school tablet from my backpack, I pull up our conversation on Connection Services.

80085 [Me]: Hey, can I ask you a hypothetical question? I need an outside perspective.

55378: As long as it’s a legal hypothetical. Who knows who is reading these conversations.

I pause at that. Well, it does involve listening to a conversation without the consent of both parties, but can I really be blamed for that? And also, they have a point—maybe everything said in the conversations on this beta test belongs to Holden Lovell’s company.

80085 [Me]: Let’s say you are in a cross-country long distance relationship, and your significant other (SO for short) accidentally butt-dials you. You, being curious and not realizing this was an accidental call, pick up. You then listen to the conversation between your SO and a group of strangers.

55378: Okayyy. Did you hear a murder, the planning of a murder, OR the planning of another crime? If so, you should definitely report that.

80085 [Me]: What? No!

55378: Alright. You didn’t clarify if this hypothetical was legal so I wanted to cover my bases for the powers that be. Please continue.

I’m having second thoughts, but my lack of options for talking this through forces my hand. Plus, I desperately need input.

80085 [Me]: Anyway, it sounds like the SO is planning some kind of trip with these people. Except… it’s not somewhere they’re supposed to be. And one person in the conversation kind of implies your SO is really close with someone in the group—someone they’ve never, ever mentioned to you. Which is extra fun because you may have doom-scrolled their Instagram and noticed that same person commenting a little too much on all their posts.

55378: Ok. This is much less interesting than I expected.

80085 [Me]: Are you going to help or not?

55378: Fine.

80085 [Me]: Am I crazy for thinking my SO is lying to me?

Ouch. A drop of blood beads on my fingertip from biting my nail too aggressively. I pull a tissue from the box on my desk and dab the injury.

Will 55378 proclaim my relationship doomed? Their judgment on my predicament feels irrationally important, but maybe it has less to do with their opinion and more to do with the fact that I feel like I have no one to confide in. I’ve been best friends with Braden for so long, we’re practically one unit in my family’s eyes. He was a constant presence in my home and life since third grade. To let everyone know that Braden has dropped me unceremoniously pretty much the moment he set foot on a college campus feels… I don’t know. Embarrassing. What does it say about me if the person who knows me best thinks I’m not worth keeping in their life?

55378: I have questions.

80085 [Me]: Shoot.