Page 51 of The Beta Test

Her words wash over me and for a moment they seem to be spoken in some foreign language I haven’t had the time to study yet. She can’t mean what she just said.

“Is Analiese in AP Art History?”

“You know I can’t give out other students’—”

“—Fine. Can you check the rankings again, please?”

She sighs again, the noise grating against my nerves. She keeps acting like I’m an unreasonable burden when she’s literally ruining my life!

“There’s no mistake. Things can still change by the spring. But, Avery, your GPA is still phenomenal, and there’s every reason to expect you’ll be able to get into your top school choices for college.”

“But—”

“Keep doing what you’re doing. Your work is excellent and all your teachers love you.”

“Mrs. Nelson, that’s not enough.”

“I’m fully confident you’ll be in my office early next spring to update me with the exciting news that you got into your dream university.”

This time it’s my turn to sigh. “Mrs. Nelson, can you clear this up for me: is there any chance I’ll be able to make valedictorian?”

Her eyes drop for a beat, then rise to meet mine with steadiness, like she knows I need to hear this with 100% confidence.

“No.”

I nod once, then quickly pack my things and stand.

“Thank you for your time.”

The halls buzz with conversation and the slam of lockers as everyone finishes the morning break and prepares to head to their third period class. It's all a foggy haze, like I'm having an out-of-body experience or dissociating (again). A part of my brain registers the intercom announcement stating that—once again—students are not permitted to message on Connection Services during classroom hours. That seems like the least important thing in the world at this point.

Nothing makes sense! On the one hand, at least I am a swim captain, even if I’m not the swim captain, but to not even be in the running for valedictorian?! Salutatorian is a pipe dream at this point.

That is a major, crushing blow to all of my carefully laid plans. Braden was valedictorian last year, and I’m positive it helped him get into MIT. How am I going to get in now? What if they accept me but then rescind it once they see I’ve failed to be in the top spot? And if I do get in, is Braden even there? And if he is, does he want me there with him anymore?

The questions hurtle through my brain faster than the speed of light; the beginnings of a killer headache hover just behind my eyes. I massage my temples and do my best to ignore the students jostling me as I bumble my way to my next class.

“Avery!”

I turn at the sound of my name, but it feels like I’m moving through molasses. My movements are slow and disjointed, and it’s hard to pinpoint who is calling my name. Jenna appears at my side.

“Avery James! This can’t go on any longer. What is going on with you?”

I look at my friend—the friend I’ve avoided for too long and who I’ve been a terrible friend to. Tears spring to my eyes. “I can’t! I just can’t right now!” I yell.

I shoulder past her and hurry down the hall towards physics.

Chapter Twenty

Unknown number: Operation Cookies still on?

I put down the measuring cup I’m using to measure flour and quickly swipe my powdery hands on my apron before tapping out a response.

Me: Who is this?

It’s obvious who it is—of course—but I can’t help remembering his face in his truck many weeks ago when he told me he wanted to be my friend. He’d pointed out he didn’t have my number and I’d told him to get it from Jenna, but we’ve never actually texted since then. At least, not on our phones. There's still that pesky, nagging feeling that Mr. Pi feels an awful lot like Jake. There hasn’t been any recent evidence to prove anything yet. It’s also possible my mind is making connections that don’t exist.

My phone buzzes again.