Page 83 of Animal Beats

For the third time tonight, I turn over and burst into tears.

25

HAYDEN

Sunlight streams through the blinds, causing me to turn over. Awareness slowly comes into my brain. First, my fingers twitch, then my ankles bend. When I move my leg, I realize I’m still wearing the outfit I wore to work last night.

Work.

Hinging at the waist, I bolt upright.

Work. I don’t have a job!

Everything that happened yesterday rushes back to me, from the ill-fated boat trip that caused me to lose Bennett’s bet to Nina’s phone call to my fight with Río.

We both said terribly cutting words to each other. More like yelled. Why did he come to my room anyway? He said he didn’t like how we left things. Wonder how he feels about our fight last night.

My breathing accelerates as the weight of the massive fallout settles into my bones.

I grab a paper bag and take several breaths into it.

Okay, Hayden, stop it. I have a paycheck through the end of the European Leg of the tour, thanks to Nina, and I can’t afford to waste another minute thinking about UC’s entitled drummer. Perhaps a shower will help me get down to brass tacks.

On heavy legs, I put my suitcase on the floor and open it. Picking out leggings and a tunic top, I walk into the bathroom. As the shower heats up, I make a mental note of all the things I need to do. First is book a flight home. Visit Mila. Hit up my network to see if they know of any jobs. My personal life—or absence of it—has to take a backseat to these pressing matters.

I wash my hair, grateful the water washes away the never-ending tears. I use a loofa to scrub my body, and try not to remember how Río touched each body part and made it feel more alive than ever. So what? Memories only fuel my determination to make something of my life, despite UC.

Despite Río.

I get out of the shower and put on lotion. I must be feeling better, as I’m not crying every second anymore. My zinger last night comes back to me. “It’s no wonder your parents didn't give you the time of day growing up.” Crap. That was a low blow, even if I was reeling out of control. Heat raises up in my body. He didn’t deserve that.

In the main part of the room, I wrangle with my opposing feelings. Guilt over saying that to Río and determination to find another job. I’ll probably never see Río again after this display, so I might as well focus on my job hunt.

First order of business is determining exactly what I want to do. PR is fine, but being blackballed kinda quashes it. Something with photography would be good. Maybe a photojournalist? One option. I write my idea on the hotel’s stationery, and supplement it with other ideas as they come to me. None of which include people I know who could help me get an interview. I post on my college career board, praying for someone to respond.

A knock sounds. Since I ordered room service earlier, I grab the tip I had laid out and answer. “Hello. Please put it right there.” I motion toward the chair, the only place in here that can serve as a dining room.

The table rattles as it is wheeled by me. The server removes the domes to show my cheeseburger and fries. I deserve some bad calories and carbs!

“Thanks. Here you go.” I hold out the tip.

The server stands taller and removes the hotel blazer. “I don’t think so.”

“Río?” Oh no, not again. My hands return to my hips. “We said everything we had to say last night.”

“Maybe you did, but I didn’t.”

My gaze darts around the room, looking for something to shoo him away. When I don’t find anything, I say, “You’re like a bad penny. Why won’t you disappear?”

“Because I had a night to sleep on what you said, and what I said. Hayden, we need to talk.”

“I’m done talking with you.” An apology over what I said lodges in my throat. I raise my chin.

“Well, I’m not done talking with you. Sit.” He points toward the chair. “Eat your cheeseburger and listen.”

“I’ve lost my appetite.”

“No one orders this sort of food and then loses their desire to eat it. Sit.” He points again.