Page 27 of Rich and Rotten

As soon as he pulled up at the gym, I quickly gathered my things and reached for the handle. I wanted to get the hell away from him, and I needed to do it immediately. I was two minutes from breaking down and revealing all the bottled-up anger, resentment, and love I still harbored for him.

I was supposed to hate this man, but as I stared into his chocolate eyes, that emotion eluded me. I couldn’t hate him, and I hated myself for not being able to do what should have been simple. I should’ve been able to hate him easily. Months ago, it was unthinkable that I’d be on the verge of tears and wanting to jump out of a moving vehicle because of him. I had been doing a better job of being in control of my emotions, yet here I was, spiraling in front of the man who had sent me down this emotional path.

Yaya stood outside the gym, looking confused as she stared into the car window, wondering why I hadn’t gotten out yet. The car’s tint was too dark for her to see inside.

“Jonah hired you to protect me and my daughter. I’d appreciate it if you did that and left the other bullshit out of the equation. Past mistakes don’t matter; what matters is the present, and we have to live with our decisions, no matter how hurtful they are.”

I reached for the door handle, got out, and slammed the door without looking back. All it took was for Yaya to take one look at me, and she instantly knew something was wrong.

“What happened, Tati?”

I blew past her and into the gym, heading straight to the bathroom in the back. My nerves were frazzled. I didn’t know what to do. Why did he get into that car this morning thinking this was a good idea? That we would have a conversation, and he would be able to smooth everything over. It was stupid of him to even think I would want to spend a second with him.

I locked the door and leaned on the granite bathroom counter, taking a few deep breaths. Looking into the mirror, the tears I had been desperately trying to hold back fell down my face. I examined myself and ran a hand through my hair.

Why is this happening now? I’m finally getting myself together and learning to live without Karim, only for Nazir to blow back into my life. Why?

“I will kick this door down, and you know I will, Tatiana,” Yaya’s muffled voice threatened from the other side.

Wiping my tears, I opened the door, and she stepped inside, quickly closing it behind her.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Nazir.”

“Oh honey, I’m sorry. I know him coming back—”

“He was my driver this morning?”

She paused. “Is that in his job description?”

I plopped down on one of the cushioned benches. “Apparently, Jonah doesn’t want anyone my father hired to work for me.”

“I don’t blame him. Anyone could be responsible for that hit on your father. What did he say that has you so emotional?”

“It’s not about what he said. It’s about him being here. I’ve held a mental funeral for this man, and then he just comes back from the dead.”

I slammed my hand onto the granite––a little too hard because I felt the sting. But the pain in my hand didn’t matter. All I wanted was for my heart to calm and my eyes to stop watering at the sight of that man. I longed for life to go back to how it was before he appeared downstairs in my home. Life wasn’t great, but I was getting through it––faking it until I made it––and focusing on my daughter’s happiness.

“Maybe this is God giving you what you asked for.”

I turned and looked at her as if she had just cursed at me. “What?”

“I remember you crying when Karim passed. You said how every man you love leaves you. We were both drinking, but you were more drunk than I was.”

As she jogged my memory, I started to remember that night. We were sitting out back while Nazira was asleep on my lap. Karim had been gone for two weeks, and I didn’t want her away from me. During those first three nights after Karim’s death, she woke up screaming for him. I would’ve done anything to erase her pain. If she wanted candy for dinner, I gave it to her because I didn’t want her to hurt like I was.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You mentioned Nazir. Said you wished you could have that closure from him…that if he never left you, you wouldn’t have to deal with the heartache.”

I slapped my hand over my face and sighed. “It was the liquor talking.”

“Drunk thoughts speak sober words. You’ve always wondered what happened to him, Tatiana. He’s appeared again for a reason, and you need to find out what that reason is.”

I snatched my bag from the counter and swung it onto my arm. “He came back to protect my family because that’s what Jonah hired him to do. Nothing more.”

She followed behind me into the locker room, where I aggressively shoved my bag into the locker after taking out my headphones.