Page 107 of Heart Of A Goon II

Always took her shit on the chin while raising her kids without help. Mama was the goat in my eyes, because she was still standing. Life had screwed her over, causing her to lose physical pieces of herself, and still she stood.

Love never wavering and always an abundance to give. That was my mama, the one who should have given up on me, and never did. Never judged me or looked down on me because I took a different path than she wanted for me.

It was the reason I wanted to love my baby so damn much. I recognized a woman having to be hard because life didn’t give a fuck about a woman’s softness. It handed you blow after blow, and eventually Zoya had to learn how to fight back.

Not anymore.

“Yuh know she mi love yuh, Mommy,” I told her, kissing her again on the cheek, while she rubbed my shoulder.

“Mi love yuh bad, Sharon,” Khaos’s dumb ass said, and she laughed while squeezing him.

“Mi bwoys,” she kissed us both once more.

I heard sniffling and turned. “Mi sorry, Auntie. Mi know she mi fuck up,” Inez said, as she stood there with tears in her eyes.

Track marks lined her arms, her hair hadn’t been brushed in a while, and her sunken eyes held sadness. It felt like I was staring at her for the first time in a long time. Her body was bones, as she rubbed her arms to keep warm.

It was so hard to picture the girl who loved basketball and hanging with her friends. The girl who lived to debate me and Khaos on basketball, because she knew she could smoke us on the court.

And she could.

I missed that little girl. Before the world swallowed her up and forced this onto her. “Nez,” my voice broke, as I took a step forward.

She rushed into my arms, and I held onto her. This was my baby before Boobie even carried my child. Every time I left the house, she wanted to come right with me. As much as I wanted to be done with her, the shit was hard.

I couldn’t give up on her.

My moms never gave up on me.

Moms was crying while holding her arms out, and Inez kneeled down, as she held her in her lap. “Family doesn’t give up on each other. We hold each other down, despite the pain. I’m here, Nez… never went anywhere. You have to do better. Get clean for, Melle,” she said through tears.

Inez was the daughter she never had. It had always been the three of us, and naturally Nez was like the little sister.

“Awe, you all sound like Sebastian,” Boobie sniffled, as she wiped away her tears looking at us.

“Who?” Khaos asked.

“From The Little Mermaid… the lobster.”

“He was a crab,” Inez sniffled, still laying in my mother’s lap.

My mother kissed her head and rubbed her matted hair. “You can do this, likkle girl.”

Khaos removed himself and walked over towards the windows. “This is bullshit. We wasting our breath when all she gonna do is go back to the same shit. Hell, she might row her ass onto the main island to get a fix.”

“Don’t be like that, Kenneth,” my mother scolded.

He had more to say but held it back. Kissing my mother on the head, he went upstairs to where his room was. “And keep that shit down tonight.” He looked between me and Boobie.

I kissed her loony ass on the head before whispering into her ear. “Tore that ass up.”

Khaos was heated, and I knew it when he kissed our mom and headed upstairs. Inez remained in my mother’s lap. How many more times were we going to have this conversation? My goal was always to keep my family together, but Khaos moved differently. He didn’t have the tolerance for the bullshit.

With him, you stood on your word and there was no room for back tracking. He was nice to extend grace Inez’s way, but that had been exhausted. I could tell from the way he stared at her that she wasn’t his cousin.

He didn’t have love for her, because in his mind that wasn’t Inez. That wasn’t the one who was considered his twin. She had died a while ago, and she refused to come back.

“We have to get you cleaned up. You go into my shower, and I will find you some clothes to wear.”