Page 63 of Heart Of A Goon II

Pain entered her eyes when I mentioned Inez’s name. It was the same look that entered Goon’s eyes when he spoke about her. The look of what used to be, and who she became. I felt bad whenever he spoke about her because he would give anything to bring the old her back.

Sharon felt the same way, because she messed with the button on her shirt. “I mourn who she used to be.”

“It’s hard mourning someone who is alive and wel⁠—”

“Gyal hasn’t been well in some time. Told Maxine not to baby her… spoil her. She allowed her to make decisions she shouldn’t have had to make because she didn’t want to lose her and look… we’ve lost her.”

I wanted to promise that Inez would find her way back to her family, get clean and fight this addiction, but it was reckless to make that promise. Not when there was still hope in Sharon’s eyes. Hope that her niece would be able to fight this addiction and return to the girl she knew.

The reality was that this addiction was stronger than anything else in Inez’s life. It was stronger than her family’s feelings and her own wants and needs. People often felt bad for the person with the addiction, and never once thought about the family. It was the family who mourned the living person they once knew. It was unbearable having to witness the person you were mourning, walk around and put their selfish needs in front of their family.

“It’s hard losing someone, especially a child.”

Sharon put her bra on and stared at me. “That girl was doing that mess before Melle got murdered.”

Admitting it to me made it real. It had always been real, but I was sure she usually stopped herself before stating what happened to him. It was easier to say things that soothed you and made you feel better about the situation than actually admitting it.

Gerald told me that his aunt called Inez’s addiction a sickness. She never truly acknowledged that she was a drug addict, only referring to her binges as fevers. People told themselves whatever helped them get to the next day and all the days after that.

Ramelle had been murdered and Inez was a heroin addict. It was two bitter truths to admit and process, but it was the truth.

Sharon’s bottom lip trembled as I walked over towards her. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her as tightly as she held me in her kitchen. Her hands trembled as she held onto me. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

Life hadn’t been kind the minute the pregnancy test turned positive for her. Despite all the downfalls and shortcomings, she continued to push forward for her boys. Sharon had watched one son be shipped away to prison and the other follow in his brother’s footsteps. If that wasn’t enough, she watched those same streets consume both her great-nephew and niece, leaving one alive and one dead.

Life hadn’t been kind at all.

“Not your fault, Darling… not your fault,” she gave my arm a tight squeeze, and kissed my shoulder.

I had never felt closer to someone in my life. Like she was always supposed to be here with me. “I’m pregnant.”

Gerald wanted us to tell her together, but I felt like she needed this win. She deserved to see the light at the end of this dark ass tunnel we all were in. I think we all needed the brightness this baby would bring.

She squealed, shoving me back so she could get a good look at me. “Gyal, yuh better nuh play wid mi!”

Her hands held onto my forearms as she looked at me with tears in her eyes. “We found out on my birthday.”

“Thank you, Jesus… thank you,” she kissed my hands, as she closed her eyes and thanked Jesus.

“He wanted to tell you together, but I think we deserved a little light today.”

“Little… I’m gonna be a granny.” She smiled, as she brought me closer and hugged me. “You checked on the baby? Everything okay?”

“Not yet. So much was going on, so I never got the chan⁠—”

She quickly put the rest of her clothes on, using me to lean up to pull her pants up. “There has to be a doctor on the mainland. You promise me you will go and check on the baby.”

“I promise.” Stevie had spent some of her pregnancy on the island, so I knew there had to be a doctor or someone that she used.

The smile she wore was contagious. I started to smile because of how happy she was. “I’m going to cook tonight. We’ll have dinner outside, listen to Celine Dion and the ocean on the patio. Hell, that might be what we do for Thanksgiving, too. I don’t have hope that Goo will be here by then.” She sighed.

Celine Dion was a favorite in this villa. Not because of me, but because of Sharon. If I had to listen to “My Heart Will Go On” one more time, I was gonna scream. I was hopeful that we would be able to spend our first holiday together.

“Where’s your sister?”

“Jamaica. She always goes when it’s closer to the holidays to spend time with our parents. It’s harder for me to visit now.”

It was sad that she couldn’t visit her parents the way she had always been able to. “It’s okay. We can have our own dinner for the holiday and then walk over and see what everyone else cooked.”