Page 5 of Fighting for Family

“Oh?” he said. “I’m sorry, Sunshine. I’m afraid I won’t be good company,” he said sadly.

“Why don’t we get Hope fed and then we can chat for a bit?” she suggested softly. “I know you’ve struggled with the news of Leo. It must bring back a ton of unsettling feelings for you.”

Whiskey got out and released Hope, who ran into the house. Samantha put her arm around him, and they walked inside together. He smelled his favorite shortbread cookies and saw the teapot by the stove, ready to steep.

“You know exactly what I need,” he said, kissing her.

“If you feed Hope, I’ll take the cookies into the living room,” she suggested gently. “I added the water to the pot a minute ago.”

“Thank you,” he said, heading toward the pantry, where they stored the dog food. He scooped out the measured portion and sprinkled a few salmon skins on top as a treat. “There ya go, girl,” he said, smiling softly. The dog saved his life and his marriage. When Leo brought him home, he didn’t feel worthy of Samantha after all the torture he endured. If his best friend had stopped searching for him all those years ago, he’d still be suffering in some hot desert somewhere.

When Hope finished eating, he took her outside. When they returned, he found Samantha sitting on the couch, waiting for him. Hope curled up on her bed and watched them.

Whiskey sat beside her, and she cuddled into his shoulder. “What’s on your mind?” she asked softly.

“Leo,” he admitted, feeling ashamed for letting his best friend down.

“Hmmm,” she said, letting him take his time to gather his thoughts.

“Sunshine, I have something to say, and I don’t know where to begin,” he said, taking the cookie she offered him.

“You can tell me anything. If your thoughts come out jumbled, then we’ll unscramble them. We’re a team,” she reminded him.

“I think Stormy left today because I made her cry,” he confessed.

“What happened?” she asked patiently.

“She asked me about a shipment, and I didn’t know where I put it. Then, she asked me about Rocker’s paperwork. When I asked her why, she stated she needed to know his hire date. I put it on hold since I didn’t know what to do.”

“Did Leo tell you what he wanted you to do with Rocker?” she asked, sitting up and pouring them each a cup of tea.

“Yeah. We planned on bringing him onto the team,” he explained. “They’ve stayed in Afghanistan, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Will they eventually return home?” she asked sadly. “I’m not sure when they’ll give up their search. Leo never told me about searching for you. I’ll never forget the day he told me about you dying. I’ve never seen him…broken. He always acts like a fierce leader, and your supposed death crushed him.”

“His death has… gutted me,” Whiskey stammered, trying to control his emotions. “I’m lost, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you need to speak with Claire, or can you talk to me about it?”

“I can’t sort out my feelings. It’s not something Claire can handle,” he said slowly. “I returned some time ago from captivity. I’ve gone through therapy and practiced the exercises Claire has taught me. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you and Leo have let me get away with things.”

“What do you mean?” she asked calmly. Samantha took a bite of her cookie and waited for Whiskey to process everything before he spoke.

“I walked into Leo’s office today and stared at two months of work not completed. He hired me to manage his office, and I have slacked off and let him do it on top of managing the team. I’m supposed to train the new hires, except for the missions. I haven’t instructed a single person who walked in our doors. Leo took over Sparky and Stormy’s training. Shadow worked with Cole, and Taco handled Hollywood,” he said, feeling frustrated. “I didn’t think about it until today when Stormy asked me about the payment of one of the invoices. I never did it. Leo’s covered for me,” he said uncomfortably.

“I’m sure he did it out of love,” she assured him.

Whiskey set his teacup on the table and rested his elbows on his knees. “It’s not only him. You’ve done it, too. Every time Ari gets cranky, you step in and take over for me. When LJ gets too loud, or I’ve come home after a bad day, you send him to his room,” he said gently. “It’s as if you don’t think I can handle the situations.”

“I’ll admit I’ve done those things. Like Leo, I did them from a place of love. When you first returned, loud noises bothered you. You pushed me away. Maybe some part of me still feels if things get too difficult, you might walk away from us. It hurt when you refused my help the first time,” Samantha said, sounding as uneasy as he felt.

“I will never make that mistake again, Sunshine. You have my word. I might’ve acted strongly when Bryan bowed out gracefully. Losing you made me feel worse than getting tortured daily by those assholes. I told myself letting you go might be the best thing for you. It’s because I didn’t know how to face resentment, fear, or worry in my head. I’m in therapy, and I help run the groups at the hospital for PTSD. Yet, I didn’t want to try the medications Claire suggested because I felt it might make me appear weak.”

“Whiskey,” she admonished. “You’re the strongest man I know. How many other men endured torture and still searched for the sunrise? You did it because it represented one less day of hell and one more day closer until you came back to me.”

“Ack, Sunshine. It still hurts,” he said, holding his chest. “Sometimes, I don’t feel whole. It doesn’t help when you don’t hold me accountable to anything. Leo did the same. We hold LJ responsible for doing his homework, emptying the dishwasher, and putting away his clothes. You don’t even trust me with my own socks.”

“What do you want me to do about it? Shall I leave your socks and underwear for you to fold?” she asked teasingly. “I’m aware of your capabilities. Maybe Leo felt the same. We didn’t push you because we didn’t want you to fall back into your old way of thinking.”