Page 54 of Drifter’s Heart

It’s just me who’s a mess. Me who’s the problem.

I feel my way around the room to the bed and find my small bag at the end of the mattress. Managing to put that on the floor, I pull out an oversized sleeping shirt and change into it, still in the dark. Underwear bothers me so that goes too. I throw all my clothes into a corner of the room, not bothering to fold anything. Everything else can wait until morning, when I can see better. The bed dips under my knee as I lean over to pull the quilt back. Soft and comfy.

Typical Cord, providing the best in everything. A sense of both home and abandonment creeps through my chest, and the tears start again. I stay like that, one knee planted on the bed, standing on the other, my hair draping over my face as tears fall, unchecked.

My family is so fucked up. My brother doesn’t understand love and support. Is that my fault or my parents’? Should I have been there to teach him when they failed? Or did I do the right thing and walk away from it all, only to find a man to marry who screwed me up further any freaking way?

“I’m beyond broken,” I whisper to the darkness.

And the darkness answers.

“No more than me,” it says.

I try to spin about, but wide, heavy arms trap mine by my sides. Warm breath brushes my cheek as the arms fold around me, bands of unbreakable strength that I’m not sure if I want to sink into or escape from.

The scent of leather and soap and spice washes over me.

“West?” I whisper as his body presses to mine in full. He doesn’t answer me. But as always, I know him by the way we fit together, how our bodies respond to each other. “You weren’t staying. Why are you here?” I don’t want to push him away, but I do need to hear his answer. Understand his why.

His lips rub against my neck, and I let my head fall back onto his shoulder where he leans into me. “I want to feel you wrapped around me tonight. Even if you shy away from me tomorrow and I have to convince you to stay all over again. If that’s the dance we do every morning, every day, forever, then that’s what we do. What I do to convince you to stay. But to get you to stay, I have to be here first.”

I think it’s West’s longest speech ever. His arms tighten, and I soften, melting in his arms. “Yes, please,” I breathe, opening myself to whatever he needs. Whatever he wants. “Please stay. Please be here. I won’t run.”

His laugh is loud in my ear but quiet in the room. “Bullshit. But I’m here to catch you either way.”

I sigh as he hitches the hem of my nightshirt up, grazing his roughened palm over my bare skin beneath. “You’re not going back to the bunkhouse?” I’m not the only one who has a running-away problem. Plus, I’m having a hard time thinking and putting it all together. And maybe my head has a hard time accepting that I’m getting what I want without a fight.

“Christ, girl. Are you naked under this?” He tugs the shirt higher, running his hand below the material to palm my stomach, then higher. His thumb rubs below the swell of my breasts.

“Yeah,” I admit, breathless. “I was sick of having tight clothes on. And I wanted you to see me. As I am.” Even if it was just a fantasy version of you.

West tips my head back and kisses me hard. His tongue slides alongside mine, and he doesn’t pull back until I’m gasping, seeking air he refuses to give me. “I see you. Now pull this shirt off and go to the window.”

“I have a window?” Apparently I’m in a different room than usual. Coyote is huge and I’m still finding extra nooks and crannies years in. I pull the nightshirt off, leaving it in the middle of the bed so I can find it later.

West’s hands skim along my sides, over my curves and my ribs. “Fuck, you’re perfect,” he murmurs, still standing behind me. The hard press of him, the roughness of his denim jeans against my skin, sends ripples of need coursing through me.

“I’m not,” I murmur, wrapping my arms around myself.

He brushes my arms away. “I want to see you.”

“You can’t see anything,” I protest, belatedly remembering to whisper just as he draws me around the bed. Guiding me. His touch gentles as he leads me to the other side of the room. I’m blind on the moonless night, or maybe it’s overcast. I feel like I’m staring at a blank wall until cool glass presses to my front, my cheek as he leans me into what feels like a floor-to-ceiling window.

“Can you be quiet for me?” West mutters against the corner of my mouth. I nod as he tips my chin back and glides his tongue inside. My moan as he taps my legs apart is loud, and he growls a warning. “Quiet, or I leave, Winnie. Do that for me because I need to sink into your wet little pussy.”

I gasp as he pulls back, leaving my mouth seeking his and my pussy dripping. “I’m not wet,” I fib, pressing my thighs together even as he pushes my knees apart with his.

“Pretty liar, aren’t you?” His tongue traces across my throat as he bends me backward and toys with my nipples. A hand slides between my legs. “You are so damn soaked. That’s okay. I’m going to fuck you filthily, but only if you’re quiet and good for me tonight. Don’t you dare wake anyone up.”

The chances of anyone actually hearing us are low to none, but I nod, playing into his fantasy. He’s right there, fully clothed, with his fingers sliding in and out of me while I’m naked, pressed against cold glass. It’s a dark night and there’s no one out to see, though I still feel exposed.

“Don’t let me go,” I beg, shivering, more from his teasing than the cold but it’s there, the fear of being caught, a slow sense of panic building low in me. I press back into him even as he presses me forward.

“Open your legs, Winnie,” he orders, tilting my hips forward. “Show me how you come.”

I bite my lips as he unzips his jeans and presses his cock to the curve of my butt. He’s warm and hard and everything I need. West’s fingers work fast, thick and at the perfect angle. I grip his wrist, squeezing when the overwhelm hits me, but he ignores my tell. I rotate my hips. Rocking forward with the power of my orgasm. My mouth opens on a half-formed scream⁠—

And his other hand presses over my mouth, trapping my pleasure inside me.