Page 66 of Drifter’s Heart

“I lied.”

My world stops. Saliva dries in my mouth and my tongue sticks to the roof, where I detach it with effort, seeking the words I don’t want to say.

“You don’t love me?” My volume is too loud in a sudden silence between a rider’s demise and the music that comes after. All of Valiant Peak will be talking about this for the next month. I hope to God she’s ready to be the next Rand sensation.

“I do love you.”

Tears I hate sparkle in her eyes, unshed. Fuck. Don’t cry for me, Rand. I’m not worth your tears.

“But you lied to me,” I say desperately, And now I’m the one begging her to hear me.

Stop this. Don’t keep it going.

“I lied the first time,” Winnie whispers, her voice fast eaten by the crowd’s chatter, which reminds me we’re far from alone. “I get scared and I say things I don’t mean in the moment. A catchall for everything. But last night? That wasn’t a lie. It’s why it felt so right. So good to say it.” She swallows. Waits.

I breathe. And exhale. The burn lessens. “You lied and told me the truth, huh?” I want to take her away from the crowd, find a dark place where I can kiss her until I’m certain of the words and their meaning. Because right now I’m not sure I understand her why even when I do. Because I know this woman.

And I love her right back.

“The thing is, it wasn’t ever a lie. I said it, the words? And they were just words. But I— I meant them. Every time,” she says. And that’s not a whisper that tears from her. It’s a confession out here where anyone can hear. And she says it.

To me.

I squeeze her waist hard enough to earn myself a gasp. And that’s a sound I do like. “I fucking love you. This was not the conversation I thought I’d give tonight, Winnie.” I stare at her, hard. Letting her see the hurt her words have carved inside me too. But I also understand why she’s never told me. “Only the truth. You hear me?”

“Yes.” She nods and tucks her body against mine, pressing into my hard hold until my touch gentles on her. A shattered breath slips from her lips. “I thought I meant to be the one who ran from you in the morning.”

“You did,” I remind her. “Into the bathroom. I missed breakfast.”

The sweet look on her face is too innocent to ignore, even after everything. “Oh, fuckity. I’m sorry, West. Then you⁠—”

“Yeah. Then,” I say softly, and then crush her mouth beneath mine in a hard kiss. “I was there. I don’t need the full recap. You wanna head over to where the rest of the Coyote crew is tonight?” My heart is lighter, the rumor mill put to rest with the woman I need in my arms again. “Who’s got Sally?” I look around for a head of pigtails.

Winnie clings to me a moment longer. I know my apology to her later needs to be a decent one. “Dallas and Aveline were staying home. Sally seemed okay with that.” Winnie lets me take her hand in mine as we walk around the horseshoe-shaped arena to the edge. Her fingers flex in my grip. “I spoke to Lanie again.”

“Yeah? She okay? The baby?”

Winnie nods, and pauses. “She is. It was just a scare, but you know what? I think she needed some time to herself too, once she got away from the hospital. Time away from Coyote and the people. The excess of noise after silence for so long.”

That stops me. “Time away from Cord?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t think so. Lanie lived on her own for so long, West. All that time in Alaska, alone? Being around other people every day… She’s a scientist. A nomad and a research queen. Being social with people and not wolves is taking some getting used to, you know? Cramming her into his life isn’t the same as the regular person shoving a family into four walls. And she’s always hated that.”

I nod. “Okay, that’s fair. So she’s taking some time.” But that’s not everything that Winnie’s saying. I find her hips and mold my hands to her shape, memorizing the feel of her. “Do you think if we try this again, you’ll freak out and won’t be able to deal with me around?”

Winnie turns to face me, and her eyes glitter with unshed tears.

“Hey,” I murmured, running my thumb beneath her lashes. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

I love you.

“I know, West,” she whispers, and the tears cascade. “I know that, and it’s beyond terrifying. Because you’ve been there. Always. For me. For so long.”

I stare down at her, my heart pounding in my chest. “I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Be there for you and Cord. Because I lo—fuck it. Because I love you both so much.”

She smiles wanly. “I know you do, you big oaf. And I love you back. See? It’s real. But the thing is that I don’t know what my life looks like without you in it. What I’m supposed to do if I have a crisis and you’re not there. And if I don’t get that chance to try, then how do I know?”

“Winnie,” I whisper, still stroking her cheek. “I thought we just said that we weren’t breaking up.”