Page 18 of Love Everlasting

She studied him with caring eyes that longed to kiss away every worry line in his face. “Jealousy, Ben,” she said softly, bracing her arms to her waist again as if shutting him out. “I can’t abide jealousy because nothing will destroy a relationship faster than that.” Her gaze veered beyond him to absently trace the shore, a mist of moisture glazing her eyes. “I never fully realized it at the time, but jealousy was one of the root problems in my marriage to Adam. Our fights escalated the last few years because he wanted me to attend conferences with him, you see, but I never wanted to go. I used my job as an excuse, which infuriated him, of course, and it was certainly a factor in the rift between us.”

She swallowed hard as she met his gaze once again. “But it wasn’t the main reason.” She looked away, skimming her arms as if she were cold, not knowing if it was the chill of a sudden sea breeze or her guilt, but either way, a shudder rippled her body. “It wasn’t until Adam and Karen got involved that I realized just why I couldn’t tolerate those stupid conferences where women flirted and fawned over Adam like I wasn’t even there. I was jealous and couldn’t handle it, so I chose to turn a blind eye to it all, trusting Adam far more than I should have.” Expelling a shaky breath, she finally faced him again. “So when he ran away with Karen, the monster of jealousy finally took over my soul, blackening my heart until it snuffed out any love I may have had for my husband.”

Ben reached to give her hand a squeeze. “That won’t happen with us, Tess, I promise.”

She stared at him for several seconds, regret etched into every pore of her face. “You can’t promise that, Ben, because it’s my Achilles’ heel.” A muscle jogged in her throat. “But I can promise you I will do everything in my power to make sure it doesn’t happen to us.”

He gave her a lazy smile while he slowly circled her palm with the pad of his thumb. “Put me under lock and key?”

She didn’t crack a smile. “No, Ben, not you. Your temper.”

He dropped her hand, eyes in a squint. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Huffing out a sigh, she rose to pace the deck, her arms in a tight fold. “It means I have two conditions before I put that ring on my finger, Dr. Carmichael, and you can either comply or we can call it quits.”

“You’re joking.” He stared, mouth dangling.

“Nope.” Her chin jutted up as if to prove her point. “Dead serious, Dr. Doom, and no amount of kissy-face is going to change my mind.”

He ground his jaw as he leaned back in his chair, elbows on the armrest and fingers laced. “And what exactly are these ‘conditions,’ Tess?” he said, giving her a death glare over the clasp of his hands.

She held up a finger. “One, I want you to deal with your bitterness toward Cam, because I refuse to marry a man where jealousy blackens his soul like it did mine.”

His lips took a hard twist. “It won’t, Tess, as long as he stays away from you.”

Head cocked, she sucked air through teeth clenched in a tight smile. “Yeah, well, that’s just it, Ben—Cam is my friend and as a widower whose wife died from cancer, he’s helped me through my grief a lot, which means his friendship is here to stay—”

Ben shot to his feet. “Over my dead body,” he growled, “not if you become my wife.”

She scrunched her nose. “Which is a pretty big ‘if’ right about now, Doc, so you might want to hear me out.” She shrugged. “If not, I’ll be happy to give your eulogy.”

Leaning forward, he stared her down, hands perched low on his hips. “It would be downright irresponsible for you to even consider a friendship with another man, Tess, especially one I can’t stand, and there isn’t a marriage counselor alive who wouldn’t agree with me.”

“Maybe,” she said with a slow nod, remembering that Adam had called her irresponsible once as well, and she supposed she had been. But this was different. Ben’s ring wasn’t on her finger yet, and unless he was willing to rid his heart of the bitterness he still harbored toward Cam, it didn’t look likely. The barest semblance of a smile flickered at the edge of her mouth as she arched a brow, hoping a tease would soften the blow. “But then it’s not the marriage counselors you want to take to bed, now is it, Dr. Doom?”

He turned away, slashing fingers through his hair. “This is nothing short of blackmail, and if you really loved me, you wouldn’t do this.”

“On the contrary, Ben, it’s because I love you that I am doing this.” His eyelids weighted closed after she rose to tenderly touch his arm, her voice gentle with the deep affection of a woman in love. “Why on earth would I stand by and allow the man I adore to be eaten up by bitterness when it’s a cancer we can cure?”

His rib cage deflated in one, noisy bluster of air. “What else?” he bit out, tone as sharp as the hackles she’d apparently raised.

Silence reigned for several seconds before she whispered her second request. “I’d like for you and Cam to be friends.”

He spun around so fast, it made her dizzy, his eyes wide sockets of shock. “Are you crazy?”

She moved in close to wrap her arms around his neck, tone husky to convey her intent. “Yes. Undeniably, unequivocally, and certifiably crazy in love with an unbelievably stubborn man with whom I hope to spend the rest of my life.”

She stood on tiptoe to sway her lips against his, and he swallowed her up in a raspy groan. “God help me, I love you so much, it aches,” he whispered, taking her mouth with a ferocity that mirrored the love that they bore.

She pulled away to cup his face with her hand, a sheen of tears in her eyes she hoped told him that she felt the same. “That’s what I’m counting on, Dr. Doom,” she whispered, nuzzling his mouth with a tenderness meant to drain all the anger from his soul. “But I promise you, Ben Carmichael, that once I say ‘I do,’ I’ll do everything in my power to make the ache go away.”

“You better,” he said with a mock snarl, tugging her lip with his teeth, “if befriending Phillips doesn’t kill me first.” Emitting a growl, he wandered her throat before gently biting her earlobe, obviously to let her know he wasn’t thrilled with her demands. “But you can’t blame me if he spits in my eye.”

“He won’t,” she said with an assurance she felt deep in her soul. “Cam’s a reasonable man, Ben, so all you have to do is dig down for some of that hidden charm you’ve buried beneath the surface like gold. And I know it’s there, Dr. Doom, or you wouldn’t have stolen my heart like you did.”

He grunted, tugging her back on his lap after sitting back down. “Yeah? Well you might have to do some pretty heavy convincing, Miss Perky, before I’m ready to share any charm.” He burrowed his lips in the crook of her neck, making her squeal while his mouth wandered her throat.

“Well …” She chuckled, twisting to do a little ear-tugging of her own. “Look at it this way. You won’t just be doing it for your future wife, you’ll be doing it for Karen,” she said softly, reminding him of the struggle he’d overcome to forgive his ex-wife. “And yourself, Ben, since making amends to her brother will finally put all your demons to rest.”