Page 72 of Love Everlasting

Shannon blinked hard to clear the threat of tears. “I know,” she whispered, “and I truly believe that, I do. But—”

“You’re afraid.” Tess stared her down, lips pursed in mother mode over the damage that had been done to her daughter.

Shannon nodded. “Petrified. What happened with Eric almost destroyed me, Mom.” Her mother’s face swam before her in a blur of tears, and she fought the rise of a sob. “I can’t go there again, ever. It would kill me.”

“No, it wouldn’t, sweetheart.” Tess gently laid her hand over Shannon’s, the glow of love in her eyes a balm to Shannon’s soul. “You’re no longer that woman, Shannon. I’ve watched your faith grow to invincible heights as your dependence has grown on an invincible God.”

Shannon sniffed, offering a nod of thanks to Ben when he produced a fresh handkerchief from his pocket. “Then why don’t I feel like it?”

Tess smiled, briefly massaging Shannon’s shoulder before settling back in her own chair. “Because you’re focusing on your strength instead of God’s, Shan, which we all know from painful experience, is no strength at all.” She paused, head tilted in contemplation. “Which, in fact, is actually the perfect place to be for a person of faith.”

Shannon slid her mother a sideways smile. “‘For when I am weak, then I am strong’”?

“Exactly,” Tess said with a heft of her chin. “God sure nailed St. Paul and each of us to the wall when He said, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness,’ because frankly, Shan, we human beings flat-out don’t like being weak.” Tess paused to graze a gentle hand to her daughter’s cheek. “But the truth is, it’s that very weakness—that futility and failure, that utter despair—that brings us to the bottom line.” Her smile quirked. “Finally letting go and letting God carry us through.”

She shifted in the chair to face Shannon. “And you know what, Shan? I saw that firsthand with you, after Eric. You were as low as a human being can go, honey, because everything you put your hope in was either gone or helpless to deliver you from the darkness in your soul. Except God.” Tears sparked in her mother’s eyes. “And it was His power that was made perfect in your weakness, sweetheart, when He opened your eyes to the reality that everything of value is in Him and only Him. You’ve always had a strong faith, Shannon, but never like now. Now your faith has been forged in fire to produce a gleaming treasure of truth.”

Tess cradled Shannon’s hand, the shimmer of saltwater in her mother’s eyes matching her own. “And that is that no matter who, no matter what, no matter why—your peace, your joy, your hope rests only in Him, Shannon. Not in Eric. Not in Sam. And not in your own strength or anyone else’s. In Him and only Him.” She nodded to the canopy of stars overhead where a brilliant moon underscored her statement with a slash of gold glittering across the water. “The Lover of your soul, darling, Whose unfailing love—unlike Eric’s or any others’—will last forever.”

I have loved you with an everlasting love …

Heaves rising, Shannon flung herself into her mother’s arms. “I love you, Mom,” she whispered, her words thick with congestion, “and I’m so grateful for the legacy of faith that you and Daddy instilled in our family.”

“Oh, me too.” Her mother’s raspy whisper confirmed Shannon wasn’t alone in her tears.

“Here.” Shannon pushed Ben’s handkerchief into her mother’s hand. “I think you need this as much as I do.”

“You ladies keep this up, and I’m gonna need it too.” Ben’s husky tone rescued the moment, prompting a mother/daughter grin punctuated by matching sighs.

“So,” Tess said with a dab of her eyes, reverting to her transparent tone that said she would not let her daughter leave until every hint of fear was routed out. “Do you love Sam, sweetheart?”

Shannon expelled a weighty sigh of surrender. “Unfortunately.”

“And he loves you?” Ben asked, brows in a scrunch.

She peeked over at Ben with a chew of her lip. “I think so—he said he’s falling in love with me.”

Tess tipped her head, eyes in a squint. “Then other than your fear of relationships, which we are going to pray about,” she emphasized, “what’s the problem, sweetheart?”

Shannon plopped her head against the back of her chair, venting with a long, wavering breath. “He’s a player, Mom, or he used to be, and I guess I’m just not all that sure he can change to be a man who will love only me forever.”

Ben grunted. “Trust me—he can change. Maybe dragging his feet all the way,” he said with a tweak of Tess’s neck, “but for the right woman and with God’s help? He can do it.”

“Agreed.” Two tiny lines dug in at the bridge of Tess’s brow. “But you said he’s changed so much already, Shan, making great strides in the faith you’ve introduced him to, right?”

“Yes, he has, definitely,” she said with a slow nod. “He’s grown a lot in his faith since we’ve been friends, and he’s even gone to church a few times, but …”

“But what?” her mother asked, her gaze probing Shannon’s.

Shannon jumped up to walk off some of her restlessness, the same restlessness she saw in Sam at times when he got bored, his interest waning in things he thought would make him happy. Like all of his trappings. Scores of women. Jasmine.

Me?

“I guess I’m just not sure how capable Sam is of fully committing, whether to God or to a woman.” She moved toward the edge of the dock overlooking the water, buffing her arms as if she could somehow warm the chill that blew through her every single time she thought of Eric.

“Ours is a forever love, Shan, I promise,” he’d once told her. Only it hadn’t been, and the scars were still buried deep in her heart, begging her not to go there again.

“He’s a good man,” she continued, “but his values have been so shallow for so long that I wonder if he’s even capable of the kind of deep commitment I crave in a marriage.” She turned to face them again, shoulders and heart in a slump, both over the potential risk to her heart and telling Sam no. She gave a small shrug. “I guess I’m just not sure which way I should go.”