Page 82 of Love Everlasting

He nodded and tumbled back into the car, deathly quiet while he settled back against the headrest with eyes closed. For all she knew he slept all the way to his townhouse, never uttering a word, and she was glad. He was in no condition for serious conversation right now, and there was a ton of that needed before she’d resume this relationship again. The nausea in her gut took over, exacerbated by the stench of vomit that permeated despite the open windows. She couldn’t afford to marry a man who drank to excess, especially one who’d promised he’d given it up. He’d had dinner with Jack and Chase, so she knew little or no drinking was involved. But he’d mentioned meeting up with some old fraternity brothers after, so they must have twisted his arm. Even so, could she trust a man who could break a promise so easily?

“Ours is a forever love, Shan, I promise …”

The memory of Eric’s words struck hard, echoing in her brain along with something Sam once said.

“Promises are nothing more than a puff of air. But my word is my unbreakable bond, as honest and pure as I can ever hope to be.”

Putting her blinker on to turn into his complex, she chanced a peek at his profile, suddenly realizing he wasn’t asleep at all. Yes, his eyes were closed and his head was back, but his stubbled jaw was far too steeled for a man in repose, clearly indicating he was pretending to be asleep when he wasn’t. Goosebumps pebbled her arms as she pulled into his parking spot, wondering if there was anything else he was pretending about.

“I won’t hurt you, I give you my word,” he’d once told her. A cold chill iced her skin, matching the sleet suddenly slithering her veins.

Had that just been pretense too?

Chapter Forty-Four

A towel wrapped around his waist, Sam stared through bleary eyes, his mind foggier than the mirror despite twenty minutes in a hot shower. Grabbing a washcloth, he wiped the steam away, wishing he could wipe away this night from his memory as effectively.

“She was a home-wrecker, man. Had an affair with one of the top professors, busting up his marriage.”

Fresh fury surged through his veins along with fresh pain. How had he done it again? How had he fallen in love with another Amber?

His shoulders went slack as he leaned against the sink, his breathing as erratic as the thoughts ping-ponging in his brain. He sucked in a shaky breath. No, she wasn’t another Amber, not even close. Amber never would have cleaned him up and driven him home. Nor would she be rattling around in his kitchen right now, making him breakfast, judging from the bacon smell that made him want to puke all over again. He glanced at the now half-empty cup of coffee she’d set on the bathroom counter while he’d been showering around the corner, and he had no doubt whatsoever that Shannon O’Bryen was one of the kindest, most gentle human beings he’d ever met.

But, she wasn’t innocent and pure as he’d supposed. His mouth tamped in a thin line as he put toothpaste on his toothbrush, scouring till his gums were as raw as his heart.

Not by a long shot.

And for some reason that rankled more than anything else. Because he’d thought he found an angel. A pearl among women. When all along she was no better than anyone else. Her purity was nothing more than façade, as surface as all those trappings she often accused him of. Which galled him all the more when he’d taken such great pains to treat her with respect and admiration, cherishing her for the priceless treasure she was.

Because you love her. Not because you thought she was pure.

Moisture burned at the back of his eyes as he sagged over the sink, biceps bulging while he braced stiff arms to the granite surface. He did love her, he knew it deep down in his soul, but his image of her was tarnished, which could very well tarnish their relationship as well. Because right now all he felt was white-hot anger that he’d been duped, sold a bill of goods as tainted as her so-called purity.

A swear word hissed through his teeth as he ripped the towel from his body. He balled it up and hurled it across the room, too inebriated—and too embittered—to even consider forgiving her what she had done. Maybe tomorrow when the booze wasn’t clouding his brain, but not tonight. His jaw hardened as he jerked a fresh T-shirt over his head, teetering precariously while he donned a clean pair of pajama bottoms. No, tonight, the alcohol told him she was no different than the dozens of women he’d brought to his bed, each and every one hoping for a piece of his heart. Well, only one woman possessed it, but she’d wounded it through her deceit, and with the Chivas in his bloodstream as toxic as his thoughts, he intended to make her pay.

Slapping the light switch off, he paused for several seconds with his hand to the wall, dizzier than he’d ever been in his life. But then he’d drank more tonight than he ever had in his life, making his drunk the night of the fundraiser look like a tea party. He waited for the dizziness to subside, then finally stumbled into his darkened bedroom. Hurling the covers and sheets aside, he tumbled into bed and closed his eyes, nausea threatening when the room began to spin. He quickly jerked his eyes open, rolling onto his back with a groan.

“Sam?”

He fought the softening of his heart at the gentle sound of her voice and the accelerated thump of his pulse as she slowly approached. The calming scent of vanilla invaded his senses like a drug when she sat on the edge of the bed, fusing with the alcohol to heighten months and months of pent-up desire. “Are you hungry? I made you an omelet.”

“Yeah, I’m starving,” he whispered, hooking her waist to roll her over his body and pin her to the center of the bed, “but not for food, babe.”

“Sam, stop it!” Shock edged her voice as she tried to squirm out of his arms, but he only held on tighter, silencing her with a kiss that unleashed a groan deep in his throat. “I need you, Shan,” he whispered, voice hoarse as he tried to kiss her again.

“Sam, no!” She pummeled his chest, and his anger suddenly swelled, the thought of her and that professor pulling the pin in his grenade.

“What’s the matter, Shan?” he said, eyes itching hot as acid coated his tone. “You only put out if a guy’s married?”

Her limbs froze, her face as stricken as her body, and in that moment, the pool of pain in her eyes felt like he’d plunged a knife into his own heart instead of in hers.

His rib cage constricted, regret choking his air. “Shan, I’m sorry—”

Crack! She all but unhinged his jaw with the blur of a palm to his cheek, clocking him so hard, he had stars in his eyes.

Before he could even move, she scrambled off the bed to flee, the trail of her broken sobs shattering him like he’d just shattered her. “Shannon, wait, please!”

But she didn’t. He heard the slam of the front door when he tried to follow, too dizzy to make his way down the stairs.