Page 89 of Love Everlasting

“Do you love her?”

Sam gave him a slitted stare. “No, Rev, I just sucked down a bottle of scotch and puked my guts out because I’m mildly attracted to her.”

“You can be a real smart aleck, you know that, Cunningham?”

“Humph. Can’t be too smart—I just blew it with the woman I love.”

“So fix it. Spend some time on your knees—both with God and with her—then take it from there.”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t know, Chase, she deserves so much better than me.”

Chase slacked a hip with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t tell me we’re back to that ‘worthy’ whine again. Well, you know what? She does deserve better than you,” he said with a wry smile, “but I don’t plan to make a move because she wants you, lughead.” He took a sniff. “Although the way you reek right now, I sure don’t know why.”

Chase hesitated, wishing for the briefest of moments that he was in Sam’s shoes despite the way that he smelled. “So treat her like the treasure she is, Sam, and be the man that she needs you to be. Which means no more drunks when things get too tough or lashing out at her when she falls from grace, because she will, man, like every single one of us. Just love her for who she is, not who you want her to be—just like God does with us.”

He paused to draw in a deep breath, slowly releasing it again. “And above all else—never, ever take your hurt out on her, because hurt stabs blindly, Sam, but when it’s done—they’re not the only one bleeding.” Giving Sam a jostle with his foot, Chase ambled from the room, turning only when he reached the door. “And get a realllly hot shower, will you? Because right now, you stink a whole lot more than your life.”

Chapter Forty-Seven

“Come on, Shan—you sure you don’t want to go to Cold Stone?” Lacey wiggled her brows. “Jack’s buying,” she said in an obvious attempt to prod Shannon to go out. She rose from the Adirondack chair between Shannon’s and Cat’s with a jut of her lower lip, the mournful wail of a loon underscoring her sad face as the shadows of dusk stole away the light of day. “You’ve been cooped up here for two solid weeks except for work and church, sweetie, and Cat and I both think you need to get out.”

“Hey, guys, I am out,” Shannon said with a chuckle, arms wide to indicate the great outdoors where she’d been spending all of her evenings for the last few weeks. “I told you, Lace—I’m just taking some time to think and pray, kind of like a retreat.” She rested her head on the back of her chair with palms flat on its wide arms. “Besides, I like to watch the lazy roll of the river.”

Cat chuckled. “And I like to watch the grass grow, sis, but preferably at Cold Stone. Come on, Lace, leave her be. She’s happy ‘communing with God,’” Cat said with a droll smile, the tease in her tone indicating she’d been around this mountain with her sister before. “She’s been assuring me all week that she wants for nothing right now.”

“Uh …” Shannon shot her sister and sister-in-law a faint smile, waggling her brows like Lacey had. “Except maybe a cheesecake fantasy to go?”

“Yes!” Cat pumped a fist in the air. “She finally wants ice cream again, which is definite progress. Even if it’s not the type of ‘fantasy’ I’d like her to indulge in.” She pressed a kiss to Shannon’s hair. “You want anything else, sis?”

Sam Cunningham with extra sprinkles?

“Nope, just the fantasy, please, and you’ll find me right here.”

Indulging in a little fantasy of my own.

“No doubt about that.” Lacey bent to give her a quick hug before following Cat to the ramp, tossing a wink over her shoulder. “And we’ll order yours right before we leave so it won’t be mush by the time you get it, okay?”

“Perfect. Thanks, guys, I really appreciate it.”

Sinking back into her chair, Shannon released a peaceful sigh, the sound of water lapping the shore working its magic, along with the shimmer of the river against a scarlet sky. An osprey glided over the fiery horizon, its graceful dance in natural rhythm with willowy grasses that swayed and shushed on the shore.

Chin lifted, she closed her eyes to feel the caress of a sea breeze mingling with the salty scent of the marsh, and her rib cage expanded with gratitude for the God Who had set her as free as the osprey overhead. “Thank you, Lord, for your unfailing love,” she whispered, saltwater flooding her eyes like it flooded the grassy shores at high tide. Because she knew that although Sam had hurt her deeply, God had used it to bury the past. All of it.

The pain of Eric’s betrayal.

Her deadly, deep-seated need for approval.

And the shame of losing that very approval from both God and her family.

A single tear slithered her cheek as she relived Sam’s rejection that night, the loss of his approval the final blow to a stronghold that had held her in bondage far too long.

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

So for one week she’d done exactly what her mother said—praise and prayer—and in the process she discovered a freedom she’d never known before. A freedom she wouldn’t have known at all if God hadn’t used the pain of Sam’s rejection to reveal that her past was over and done. And in its place was a hope as bright and shiny as the dawn of a new day, where the God of Hope promised to give her a future and a hope.

A future .... She opened her eyes to scan the heavens, listening for that Still Small Voice she so trusted to guide her. I need to know, Lord—will that be with Sam?

She thought so. She hoped so. But she promised herself she’d give it time to think and pray, to make sure it was what God wanted her to do. Sam seemed to want it—he’d called and texted every day, begging to see her, sending her gifts, emailing his hopes for the future. But Shannon never responded directly, only through Jack, allowing vague assurances from her brother that his sister just needed more time.