Page 35 of For Love of Liberty

“That’s just it, ma’am,” he said with another quick gulp of tea, “I’m not so sure it’s ‘for heaven’s sake.’”

Pastor Poppy leaned in with a squint. “Why do you say that, Finn? You were as high as a hog in a halo after you and I talked privately this morning, determined to end it with Jo Beth no matter the risk to you or your loan.”

Finn nodded slowly. “Yes, sir, I was, and I took it to heart when you said ‘true liberty is doing the right thing,’ even planning to propose to Liberty tonight with the rings that I bought.”

The old man nodded slowly, a faint smile shadowing his lips. “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

“And free to marry the right woman,” Mrs. Poppy added, the sparkle back in her eyes.

Finn cuffed the back of his neck, gaze sober. “Yes, ma’am, but right at this moment, I’m not so sure Libby is the right woman, least not after the awful things she said to me this morning.”

“All couples say awful things when they’re angry, isn’t that so, Horace?”

Mr. Poppy studied Finn with a keen eye. “Yes, yes that’s true, Clara.” His gaze sharpened. “But I suspect this may go deeper than a few angry words, eh, Finn?”

Finn expelled a weary sigh. “Yes, sir, it does, at least for me. You see Liberty said some pretty hateful things to me this morning, and I have no earthly reason why. Wouldn’t explain, just fired me up hotter than those red-hot Roman candles shooting up out of town square.” He kneaded the bridge of his nose with another heavy expulsion of air. “Haven’t lost my temper like that in a long, long while.” A shudder rippled through him. “Actually thought about going to the Brass Rail if you can believe that, which made me feel so low, so worthless, so much like …” His voice tapered off as muscles constricted in his throat.

“Your pa?” The compassion in Pastor Poppy’s voice caused moisture to sting at the back of Finn’s lids.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, shocked at just how much the thought scared the living daylights out of him. That Liberty could trigger that.

Which meant, suddenly she scared the daylights out of him too.

“What if I’m no good for her?” He glanced up, a dull ache in his chest as he stared at the pastor. “What if she’s no good for me? I mean nobody lights my temper up like that woman, and yet no one lights my life up like her either. But when she said what she did, compared me to my pa like that, it just got me to thinking, you know? About how we’re always butting heads about one thing or another and I … I just don’t know, Pastor.” He trailed into a vacant stare. “I don’t know if my love is strong enough to handle that.”

“You’re afraid,” Pastor Poppy confirmed softly.

Finn’s gaze jerked back, eyes wide. “You’re darn right I am, sir. Scared silly if you want to know, that we’ll wind up in a marriage where we end up hating each other.”

“Just like your folks.” Mrs. Poppy’s quiet statement met its mark, piercing Finn’s heart with a fear he’d never acknowledged before.

“Yeah,” he whispered, eyes lagging into another ten-mile stare. “Just like them.”

“You know, Finn …” The pastor paused. “Perfect love casts out fear.”

Finn cut loose with a grunt. “Yeah, well, our love is anything but perfect, sir.” He upended his tea.

“No … but God’s love is, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

Finn’s brows jabbed low. “Pardon me, sir, but is that an oxymoron?”

Pastor Poppy laughed. “Not really,” he said with a pensive scratch at the nape of his neck. “Although I’m sure it sounds like it right about now.” He refocused on Finn with a probing stare. “It just means you’re a man of God now, Finn, and not in this alone anymore. You have God’s Spirit, His precepts, and His grace to help you do the right thing.” His mouth quirked. “Even when you do the wrong thing like lose your temper.”

Finn stared, the truth of God’s Word warming his spirit like Mrs. Poppy’s tea warmed his soul. “True liberty,” he whispered, the barest spark of hope flickering in his chest.

“Yep.” Pastor Poppy raised his cup in a toast. “The kind that helps you love a human being no matter their frailties or your own.”

“Or a hot-tempered woman,” Mrs. Poppy said with a giggle.

“You mean a hot-tempered little brat.” Finn slid the old woman a sliver of a smile.

“Whom you have forgiven, yes?” Pastor Poppy’s brow angled high.

“Not yet, but I will.” Finn’s mouth took a slant. “Eventually.” He issued a grunt. “Although I won’t make it easy for her, sir, I can promise you that. Liberty O’Shea needs to learn to mind her mouth and her temper, and I’m just the man to teach her.” Huffing out a noisy sigh, he slashed his fingers through his hair. “Pardon my irritation, Pastor, but right now I’m still a little gun-shy as far as that woman is concerned.”

“Perfectly understandable,” Pastor Poppy said with a thoughtful nod. “In fact, given your concerns, it might be wise to slow the entire process down. You know, wait until you’ve paid off that loan before you make a decision about courting, like you originally planned to do.”

The edge of Finn’s mouth kicked up. “Which might be a lot longer than I thought given the lemonade Jo Beth threw in my face.”