Page 60 of Love’s Silver Bullet

“He was?” Sheridan clasped her hands to her chin in hope.”

Maggie’s lips skewed. “Yes, sweetheart, but unfortunately, he went to dinner at Megan Joy’s instead.”

Sheridan flopped down in the chair with a moan, clunking both bowl and pan on the table. “This whole jealousy scheme hasn’t worked very well, has it? I care for Jake, he cares for Megan Joy, and Clay cares for me.” Stabbing the dough with her hands, she proceeded to shape them into balls for dinner rolls, laying them side by side in the pan.

She unleashed a mournful sigh. “This is a fine mess I’ve gotten us in, isn’t it? I’ve caused rifts between both of you and your husbands, Jake barely talks to me so even our friendship appears to be over, and Blaze will probably chain me to the house so I can’t say goodbye to my friends or Clay.” Practically mutilating the ball of dough in her hands, she slammed it into the pan. “Sweet soul-saving mercy, sometimes I wish I didn’t have any men in my life.”

Smiling, Aunt Libby reached across the table to lay a comforting hand on Sheridan’s arm. Well, cheer up, sweetheart,” she said with a playful squeeze, a definite gleam of trouble in her eyes, “because the good news is that in one week?” She winked. “We’ll all be leaving them all behind.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

“Oh, I’m going to miss you both soooooo much!” Sheridan flung her arms around her two friends as they huddled together on Kathy Jean’s bed in their pajamas, where all three had been talking and laughing for the last few hours.

“As much as you’ll miss Jake?” Sophia wiggled her brows as she popped a piece of popcorn in the air, catching it with ease.

“More!” Sheridan said with a shaky jut of her chin, downright miffed—and deeply hurt—that Jake had almost avoided her completely this entire last week she was home. “After all, you girls actually want to be with me.”

“If you want my opinion, Sher,” Kathy Jean said with a quiet smile, “I think Jake does, too, which is why he avoids you so much. It’s safer, I suspect, than facing his feelings for you.”

Sheridan slumped back against the brass headboard while Sophia and Kathy Jean faced her Indian style, a bowl of popcorn smack dab in the middle.

“Well,” Sophia said as she tossed another kernel in her mouth, never one for overly serious conversation, “I bet I know someone who will miss you, chica, and you, him.”

Sheridan smiled, shaking her head as she nibbled a piece of corn. A tinge of sadness shadowed her as she finally admitted to herself that Clay Morgan had made inroads, no matter how small, into her heart despite her refusal to love anyone but Jake.

After that first kiss, she’d shot almost perfect scores, followed by a picnic where they had laughed and talked for hours, ending with a second kiss that had melted her more than the first, completely muddling her feelings for Jake. She exhaled softly. “Okay, yes, I’m finally willing to admit that I probably will miss Clay, too, both the lessons and the attention he lavished on me.”

“And the kisses?” Sophia eyed her with a cat-and-mouse smile, as if awaiting to pounce on Sheridan’s answer.

Sheridan’s cheeks warmed as she deflected with a quick scoop into the popcorn bowl, grabbing a handful to immediately pelt some pieces into her mouth. She hesitated to give Sophia’s question careful consideration and suddenly realized, that yes, much to her dismay, she would miss Clay’s kisses! But not because she liked him, although she certainly did. But because his kisses made her feel attractive and pretty and like the woman Jake refused to see. All at once, confusion furrowed her brow when she couldn’t help but wonder …

But if I truly loved Jake, would I want to kiss another man?

Expelling the unwelcome thought in a noisy exhale, she tossed more popcorn, quickly gulping it down. Peeking up, she managed a sheepish smile. “Unfortunately, yes, I have to admit I will miss Clay’s kisses as well, although there were only two.” And yet, they’d made her feel like a woman for the first time in her life.

A memory flashed of Jake kissing her senseless.

She swallowed hard. Correction. Second time in my life.

“Si, but two kisses that have given Mr. Jake some much-needed competition, no?” Sophia grinned as she bounced a kernel off of Sheridan’s nose. “In your heart at least, chiquita, if not in reality.”

Popcorn to her lips, Sheridan paused, reflecting on Sophia’s statement. Maybe her friend was right. Maybe this whole “making Jake jealous” scheme wasn’t a failure at all. Because if she couldn’t win Jake’s love, then perhaps the love she could win—be it with Clay or whomever God ordained—would set her free from this painful little-girl fantasy that someday Jake would be hers.

She chewed on the popcorn with a faint smile. “I think you’re right, Sophia, but unfortunately it’s a moot point. With Uncle Finn restricting me to the ranch all week till tonight—my last night in Virginia City till Christmas—I’ll probably never see Clay again.” A whisper of a sigh drifted from her lips as her gaze wandered into a melancholy stare. “Even so, my time spent with him does comfort me somewhat knowing that if Jake doesn’t want me, at least there are men who will.”

“And men whose kisses can make you want them as well, si?” Sophia tipped her head.

“I suppose,” Sheridan said slowly, her manner pensive. “Although I will admit that does bother me a wee bit.”

“Why is that?” Kathy Jean asked, brows in a scrunch as she chomped on her popcorn.

Sheridan shrugged. “Because I’m in love with Jake, so I feel guilty because I don’t understand how a girl can be attracted to two men at the same time.”

“Bah,” Sophia said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “Lolita says it happens to her all the time.”

“But she’s not in love like I am with Jake, Sophia, so it just feels”—Sheridan lifted a limp shoulder—“I don’t know … wrong, I guess.”

Sophia wagged a finger. “Only because your uncle and brothers have sheltered you like a nun, chica, allowing no interaction with men whatsoever, which is not good. So, do not feel bad about Clay Morgan because I think he was good for you in more ways than one.”