Page 75 of Love’s Silver Bullet

Her world had expanded to include good friends like Grace and Gray—with whom she spent most of her free time on weekends, since Gray attended Columbia University in the city during the week. A smile tickled her lips as she thought of Grace’s twin—a dear friend and incorrigible rogue who wanted to be more than friends, given his doting attention on weekends and the comical roll of his twin sister’s eyes.

“Gray,” his sister would tell him with a patient smile, heavily laced with affection, “Sheridan is spoken for, so you need to focus somewhere else.”

“But I don’t want to,” he’d say with a little-boy sulk that always eased into a wink and a grin, making Sheridan giggle whenever he did. Gray made her laugh and feel pretty and she adored him as a friend.

But it was Jake who held the claim on her heart.

Even so, distance had brought a much-needed balance to both her thoughts and her feelings about the stubborn cowboy who refused to give her his. Because between the miles that separated them, her friendships with Grace and Gray, and invigorating studies, Sheridan couldn’t deny she’d grown considerably over the last year, happily broadening both her mind and her heart.

A gentle smile flickered across her lips. Especially her heart—both through her volunteer work with children like Wendell from The CHP and via Vassar’s Society for Religious Inquiry or VSRI.

A member organization of the Young Women’s Christian Association, the VSRI focused on evangelical progress of Christianity throughout the world, as well as improving conditions for female students, teachers, and factory workers, something Aunt Libby heartily applauded.

But what had captured Sheridan’s heart the most was the organization’s desire to advocate for the rights of women of color, from African American and Native American, to Hispanic American like her dear friend, Sophia, who’d been ostracized in school by many merely because her skin was brown.

A wispy sigh drifted from Sheridan’s lips as she thought about leaving it all in mere weeks to go home for the summer, and she had no doubt she would miss it all—terribly. Never would she had believed going away to school could expand her horizons like it had, opening her up to a wide and wonderful world beyond the fences of The Silver Lining Ranch and Virginia City.

Not just geographically, but spiritually as well for a number of reasons. First and foremost, her intense longing for Jake had nudged her into devouring the Bible Maggie had given her, capturing her heart with hope and promises she had never been able to get from Jake.

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Which is exactly what she’d been doing since Christmas—trusting, doing good, feeding on God’s faithfulness, and delighting herself in Him.

Instead of Jake.

Her mind traveled back to the kisses Jake had given her the night before she’d returned to school, and for the first time in almost five months, she was shocked to realize she didn’t want that to be her focus anymore.

Oh, she had no doubt she loved Jake, and there was no question his kisses were wonderful, as was getting to know him better through his letters. But months of soul—and Bible—searching had convinced her getting to know God was more wonderful, bringing things into true perspective.

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life … but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

All these things.

Sheridan’s eyelids weighted closed, knowing full well what that meant. The things she had spent a lifetime longing for and worrying about, like marrying Jake, and getting him to commit to her as the man she truly believed she was meant to marry.

She opened one eye in a squint, peeking up at a blindingly blue sky scudded with clouds that drifted by as slowly as the river. Isn’t he, Lord?

“Soooo … what did Jake have to say in his letter this week?” Grace said with a light pinch of Sheridan’s waist, as if she could read Sheridan’s mind, which she was often prone to do. Smile soft, she studied Sheridan through gentle gray eyes while they swung back and forth on Mrs. Carmody’s back porch swing. The lazy roll of the Hudson River was a soothing complement to a day of frenzied activity filled with laughter and love. A bit of the imp crept into Grace’s gaze as she awaited Sheridan’s response. “Because whatever it was, it’s stolen your tongue and your thoughts, my friend.”

Sheridan peeked up at the dear friend who was the second biggest reason—after Jake—for Sheridan’s deepened faith. Grace Carmody was true to her name for she was truly a touch of grace in Sheridan’s life, much like Maggie and Aunt Libby had been at home.

Fiercely devoted to the Word of God, Grace challenged Sheridan’s faith daily, whether through endless debates and discussions, to gentle words of truth that pierced Sheridan’s very soul like one of Grace’s favorites Scriptures:

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Sheridan’s smile took a slant. A Scripture one definitely had to pray sparingly. She scrunched her nose as she pinched Grace right back. “I swear you’re a mind reader, Grace Carmody, which is not always a good thing.”

Grace’s chuckle floated into the air along with cherry blossom petals in a gentle breeze. “Except with a dear friend who tends toward the melancholy when she can’t hash certain thoughts out.”

Breathing in the heavenly scent of spring, Grace smiled as she stared into her grandmother’s backyard, where newly budding redbud and dogwood trees painted a watercolor landscape of pale green, pink, and white. “So, tell me, my friend, what has you so reflective after a day of children, horses, and fun?”

Sheridan expelled a lingering sigh, figuring she may as well divulge her latest concerns because Grace would eventually wheedle them out anyway. “I’ve been thinking …” she began.

Grace bumped her shoulder with her own. “A dangerous thing to do,” she teased, making Sheridan smile.

“About Jake.” Leaning her head back on the swing, Sheridan pursed her lips in thought.

“No!” Grace said, mouth aghast as she put a hand to her cheek.