Page 82 of Love’s Silver Bullet

Living for!

And sweet mother of mercy, she couldn’t breathe!

“Hey, you growin’ those lemons in there?” Dash’s tease drifted in through the screen door along with everyone’s laughter, and it broke the tension when Jake jerked his hand away from her face to yell right back.

“Hold your horses, Donovan—I spilled half of the juice I squeezed, so we had to start over.” He gave her a wink.

Sheridan grinned, grateful for the opportunity to breathe again. “Thank you for taking the blame,” she whispered, remembering all the times he’d done exactly that over the years to save her from her brothers’ or uncle’s teasing. “Again.” Her grin softened into a tender smile. “You’ve always taken such good care of me, Jake.”

His smile faded as his Adam’s apple hitched in his throat, those dark eyes as serious as she had ever seen. “And I always will, Sheridan, which is what I wanted to talk to you about.” His gaze flicked to the screen door and back as he took her hand in his. “Come on,” he whispered as he tugged her out of the kitchen and down the hall to lead her out on the front porch, quietly closing the door behind them. “What I have to say is private.”

Sheridan’s heart was pounding so hard in her chest, she thought everyone might be able to hear despite all of Jake’s caution. “Yes, J-Jake?” Her voice came out as a croak so hoarse, the silly bullfrog had nothing on her.

Nodding toward two rockers, he gently prodded her to sit while he did the same, turning his chair to face her before hunching on the edge with hands clasped. “Sheridan,” he said quietly, pausing to inhale a deep breath as he avoided her eyes, “I think you know I love you, which is why your friendship means everything to me.”

Her heart swelled with joy as she leaned to touch his arm. “Oh, Jake, I love you, too!”

Giving her hand a gentle pat, he pulled away to sit upright, the wary look in his eyes causing her heart to stall in her chest. “I won’t deny there’s a …”—a knot ducked in his throat—“powerful attraction between us, Half-Pint, because that would be an outright lie, and I will never lie to you—you have my word on that.”

She gave a shaky nod, her breathing suddenly as shallow as her hope when he cradled a tender hand to her face, the pain in his gaze inflicting some of her own. “Which is why I have to be honest with you, Sher, and tell you that despite my love and attraction for you, I have no intention of ever getting married—”

Her harsh gasp cut him off as she cupped both hands to her mouth with a pool of tears in her eyes.

Falling to his knees before her, he gently pried one of her hands from her face to grasp it tightly, the pained plea in his tone matching that in his eyes. “Oh, darlin’, don’t cry, please. It has nothing to do with you, Sheridan, but everything to do with a vile past I refuse to inflict on any woman, much less a woman I love like you.”

“Oh, Jake …” There was no way she could stop the flow of her tears as they spilled down her cheeks. A horrendous ache in her heart wrenched a sob from her lips as she slumped over, body quivering while she put her head in her hands to weep.

“Aw, Sher …” With all the tenderness he’d always shown, he scooped her up in his arms and held her tightly while he rose to sit back down in his rocker with her in his lap, his soothing voice and touch doing little to alleviate her pain. “I love you too much to give you a hope that can never be, darlin’, and too much to ever let you go as a friend, so please—forgive me and be my friend, Sheridan, and only my friend.”

“B-But I … don’t understand. W-Why?” she whispered, voice nasal with fluid and grief.

Cradling her face once again, he softly grazed her cheeks with his thumbs. “Because I don’t deserve you, Sheridan, and because I’m a damaged man, sweetheart, in every way, and I refuse to subject you to that.”

“Please explain it to me, Jake,” she stuttered, gripping his shirt with desperate fingers, “because I don’t understand. How? Why?”

He skimmed a hand down the side of her face to gently glide his thumb back and forth on her chin. “It’s a long story, Sher, and we don’t have time to go into it now, but someday, I promise. Till then, I need you to know that I love and will always be here for you”—his throat convulsed along with her heart—“but as a friend, Half-Pint, and only a friend.”

He ducked to peer up into her eyes, his anguish etched into every pore of his face. “So, I’m begging you, Sheridan, because I need to know, for my peace of mind and yours … can you … will you … accept that?”

She stared at the man she’d loved since the age of four and knew she would love him forever, but with a love far purer than any she had hoped to have. A love dictated by the very God she now served.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

Eyes swimming with saltwater, Sheridan gave a shaky nod.

Relief eased the tension from his face as he expelled a quiet sigh. “Promise me, then, Sher,” he whispered, “because I need to know our friendship will be safe. Promise you’ll let all notions of anymore go, please, so we can be the friends we were meant to be.”

The friends we were meant to be.

Instead of the marriage that was meant to be.

Lifting a quivering palm to his face, she caressed his stubbled jaw while his handsome image blurred before her, knowing full well she would do just that. Because if she couldn’t love Jake Sullivan the way that she wanted, then she would love him the only way that she could.

“Unconditional love. The greatest gift we will ever receive—or give.”

Grace’s words settled into her spirit with a peace that belied the awful grief in her heart, and laying her head against his chest, she hugged him with all of her might while saltwater dampened his shirt. “I promise, Jake,” she whispered, voice hoarse and heart heavy, “cross my heart and hope to die.”

He hugged her back, crushing her in a desperate hold that wrung more tears from her eyes.