Page 86 of Love’s Silver Bullet

Sheridan and Miss Cramer rushed down the steps as Jake tried to help Clay up, but Clay only thrust him away, stumbling up with a handkerchief to his lip.

“I’m sorry, Morgan,” Jake said in a low voice raspy with regret.

“Not as sorry as you will be, Sullivan, I can promise that.” Clay swayed on his feet, and one of the sisters rushed up to give him a wet rag that he dabbed on his face. “Thanks, Sister,” he muttered, handing it back while Sheridan slowly approached.

She laid a gentle hand on his arm with tears in her eyes. “Clay, I am so sorry.”

“Me too, Sheridan,” he said with the barest semblance of a smile, face mottled as he bent to retrieve his Stetson from the ground. Placing it on his head, he slowly made his way to his horse, mounting as if every bone in his body ached as much as his face. With a limp tip of his head, he turned and rode away, leaving a lump in Jake’s throat as big as the one Clay Morgan now sported around his eye.

Retrieving his hat from the ground, Jake turned. His heart stopped when he saw Sheridan’s friends and the sisters hovering over Pee-Wee, Buster, and the rest of the orphans on the side of the house, eyes wide with a fear he recognized all too well.

His gut cramped as moisture burned at the back of his lids.

“Not as sorry as you will be, Sullivan,” Morgan had said, but he was wrong.

Because Jake was sorrier than he ever thought he could be.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

Two weeks. That’s all he had left. And then he could breathe easy.

And hard, when she left and took his heart with her again. A long, silent sigh seeped through Jake’s lips as he played a game of hearts with Sheridan, Dash, and Grace in the parlour on family game night.

A summer breeze fluttered the sheers, ushering in the sweet scent of roses along with a symphony of crickets and katydids, beautiful music that merged with the family’s laughter and love. Resigned to the fact that he was about to lose, Jake laid his Queen of Hearts down.

Just like he’d do in two weeks. When Sheridan and Grace left for school.

His Queen of Hearts. He peered up beneath lowered lashes at the woman who had stolen his and knew that as difficult as it would be to see her leave again, it was better than the alternative

The risk of falling deeper in love.

He’d already seen the damage his feelings for Sheridan had done over a month ago when he’d waled on Clay Morgan at the orphanage, and then Sister Fred had waled on him when she’d found out. She was the one who’d opened his young eyes to a deeper faith that had kept his demons of temper buried deep beneath the surface all these years. And the shame he felt at her scolding over his violent display in front of the children he loved made him vow to never let it happen again. Not to mention Sheridan, who now begged all the more for him to reveal his past.

But he couldn’t. Not yet. It was bad enough he had to live with it. He didn’t want the woman he loved to live with it too.

Jake had returned to the orphanage the next day to apologize to every single child and teacher, then had ridden to the Wild West arena to do the same to Clay and his uncle. Buffalo Bill had taken it in stride, but Jake doubted Clay Morgan would ever forgive him, and he sure didn’t blame him. Heck, Jake couldn’t even forgive himself for what happened, nor fully understand it either, how he’d lost control like he had. All the more reason to never even consider getting married, because like he’d told Sheridan, he was damaged goods. And now everyone else knew that too.

Although Finn hadn’t condoned his actions, Jake sensed he was relieved that Jake could do what he hadn’t been able to do for his niece: keep Clay Morgan away. And Blaze and Dash had just clapped him on the back like he’d just won a shooting contest against Annie Oakley herself, which made Jake just feel all the worse.

He didn’t want to win at fights.

He wanted to win at peace.

Sheridan’s little-girl squeal broke into his morose train of thoughts when she won the game once again. All but bouncing on her chair, she preened while she recorded everyone’s score, and the proud smile she always provoked kicked up the edge of Jake’s lip. “Uh, do they teach any humility classes up there in that fancy school of yours, Half-Pint, because I think you may be in dire need.”

The little brat just lifted her nose in the air with a giggle, lips pursed in a sassy smile. “What can I say, Sully? During long study times, Grace and I have become most proficient at the game of hearts.”

His smile went flat. No joke.

“True,” Grace said with a wink and a nod as she neatly cupped her cards in a stack to place back on the deck, “although it sure hasn’t helped me tonight.”

“Good game, Squirt.” Dash threw his cards into the middle of the table and leaned back in a stretch, hands over his head. “Well, we could always give Sher a rest from winning with a game of charades,” he said, motioning his head to where Shaylee, Maggie, Blaze, Libby, and Finn had just finished up with a game of The Mansion of Happiness. Shaylee’s favorite, The Mansion of Happiness was a board game where Sabbath-breakers were sent to the whipping post.

Like I should be. Jake chucked his cards on top of Dash’s with a wry smile.

For being stupid enough to fall in love.

“Oooooo, charades sounds perfect!” Sheridan finished adding the scores with a flourish before glancing up with a flutter of lashes. “Grace came in second, Dash after that, and Jake”—she had the nerve to drawl his humiliation out as she wrinkled her nose with a chew of her smile—"lost baaaaad!”