Page 112 of A Whim and a Prayer

He hooked an arm over her shoulder to pull her close. “I didn’t want to, Winnie, and I sure didn’t mean to. But when she invited me after Christmas—or begged might be a better word—I was so caught off-guard that I said yes, never fully realizing it was the evening of New Year’s Day.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her head. “Will you forgive me?”

And so she had. Not willingly, of course, but she’d done it, suddenly realizing this whole “love never fails” thing was way harder than she had expected.

A long tremulous groan trailed from her lips as she rolled on her back once more to stare glaze-eyed at the ceiling. “Oh, God, this is sooo hard!” she whispered, not seeing the shaft of sunlight that lit up her room for the dark vision in her head. A vision of Beck kissing Cari Lee, holding her close, and falling more in love every day until there was no room left for anyone else.

No room for Winnie.

Slashing at the tears soaking her cheeks, Winnie glanced at the clock before stumbling from the bed, nine-thirty far too early to get up with as little sleep as she’d had. But she was determined to love Beck no matter how much it hurt and she needed prayer to do it. Because it was for the best .. even if it didn’t feel like it at the moment.

“Ohhhh … why I am this way, God!?” she cried, her voice half moan, half growl as she rushed to her closet to get dressed, “so afraid I’ll end up hating him and abandoning him like I’ve done with so many before?”

Though my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will take me in.

Her fingers froze on the knob of the closet door as she halted midway, the memory of the Scripture Alex had given her in one of their counseling sessions suddenly stealing her air like it hadn’t done before.

You abandon them before they can abandon you ...

The realization paralyzed her to the spot, Alex’s words clarifying her pain for the very first time. The scourge of abandonment had branded her soul, marking her as unworthy to be loved … and unworthy to love in return …

Saltwater slipped from her eyes as she ripped her nightgown over her head, dropping it on the floor instead of hanging it up as usual, desperate to talk to Mama. To feel the warmth and comfort of welcome arms that could help her pray and chase the pain away.

Fingers trembling, she grabbed her wool gabardine slacks and favorite knit sweater to quickly don both before putting on her ankle socks and most comfortable loafers. Not even bothering to run a comb through her hair, Winnie flung open her bedroom door and dashed down the hall to her parents’ room, almost skidding to a stop when she saw it was empty, bed rumpled and unmade.

She blinked, confusion furrowing her brow. They always slept in on New Year’s Day.

“Mama?” she called as she scurried down the stairs, brushing the tears from her face.

“In here, Winnie,” Mama called from the living room, and Winnie rushed into her arms as she met her at the door, savoring the warmth of her embrace while she buried her face in her neck. Mama tightened her hold. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Another nightmare?”

Winnie shook her head, breathing in her mother’s comforting scent. “No, Mama, I just need to pray.” She pulled away to look up at her mother. “Will you pray with me?”

Mama gently kissed her head. “Yes, Winnie, we will—all of us—pray with you and more.”

All of us? Winnie pulled back to see Daddy standing in front of his chair and Alex and Gabe in front of the love seat before her eyes expanded wide at the sight of Mrs. C in front of the sofa. Pulling away from Mama’s arms, Winnie walked into the room with a pleat in her brow and a bewildered smile. “Mrs. C—Happy New Year … but … but why are you here?”

Slipping an arm to Winnie’s waist, Mama led her toward the sofa where Mrs. C stood with a trembling smile and tears on her face.

Winnie whirled around. “Mama, you’re scaring me—please tell me what’s going on!”

“Everything’s fine, darling, I promise,” her mother whispered as she coaxed her to sit down between herself and Mrs. Cullen. Clutching Winnie’s hand in hers, she hovered close. “Happy New Year, Winnie, and I believe it will be, sweetheart, because God has a very special gift for you.”

Winnie stared at her mother, her breathing suddenly shallow. “I don’t understand, Mama—why is Mrs. C here?”

——

Why, indeed, Charity had thought when she’d answered the door almost two hours ago, never particularly fond of Winnie’s teacher, and yes, maybe even a little jealous too. But in a manner as only God can, He’d brought healing to two families who desperately needed it … and to Charity’s little girl too.

The moment Mrs. Cullen—now “Joan” to them all—had dropped the bomb, Charity had stood speechless for several moments—a true rarity her husband would likely say. But before all was said and done, Joan and she had been sobbing over each other’s shoulders, clutching together as if dear life depended on it.

And it did.

Winnie’s life … and her mother’s.

Poor Mitch had thought she was crazy—not a new scenario, certainly—when she’d flown into their bedroom, door banging against the wall before she rattled him from his sleep. After a split-second discussion and desperately needed prayer, they’d decided to tell Winnie today instead of waiting till later. Because one of Winnie’s greatest regrets, she’d told Charity after she’d made peace with God, was that she would never get to make peace with her real mother.

“You can do that in heaven, sweetheart,” Charity had told her, and Winnie had cried once more in her arms, a daily occurrence it seemed, these days of late.

Well, “heaven” was now here, both Charity and Mitch decided, and Winnie would finally get her chance to be set free once and for all.