Page 16 of Choosing Scarlet

It feels less like fucking and more like making love, for once in my life.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his eyes all over me. That only arouses me more. My expression scrunches, nails digging deep into his back. “So beautiful when I’m deep inside you like this.”

“Knox …” His name blends with more moans. I can’t stop any of them as more pleasure rushes through me.

“I know, baby, I know it feels good. I can feel you drench my cock, like you never want me to pull out.” He leans down, kissing me again, as he pushes himself all the way inside me, and lingers there for a long moment. “My God, you’ve never looked more beautiful than right now, when you’re about to come all over me again.”

The pleasure disperses from the base of my spine, then, roaming through me wildly until it reaches all of my limbs. I arch my back, almost as if I’m trying to escape the sensation, but Knox pins me down, giving me a few more gentle thrusts until he comes, too.

And it’s the most arousing sound I have ever heard, to the point where I almost curse the protection between us … because I want him that much closer.

Neither of us says a word afterward as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. I stay in the warmth of his embrace, listening to his heartbeat, until his breathing slows down entirely. He’s fallen asleep. I don’t even need to look up to know that much.

“I’m falling for you,” I whisper, tracing my fingers across my skin. “And I can’t even tell you that.”

KNOX

I’m falling for you.

No other words have ever managed to stir as much conflict inside me as those four. Scarlet is fast asleep now, her head resting on my chest, while I stare up at the ceiling, still trying to process what she said exactly three hours ago.

I’m falling for you.

The words echo in my head, circling like they’re looking for a place to settle. Feelings have never been something I welcomed into my life. They were messy, unpredictable, and often led to nothing but distraction. I’ve always believed that emotions, especially the romantic kind, only slowed me down and pulled me away from the things I could control.

It’s been that way since college.

Her face flashes across my mind before I can stop it. The one woman I promised myself I’d never think about again—long red hair, green, sharp eyes, and lips that told nothing but lies. We had been together for three years, and I thought she was my future. I even had the ring in my pocket the night it all fell apart.

The pain that followed was unbearable at first, but over time, it became something useful. Pain hardened me and shaped me into the person I am today. It became the foundation of everything I’ve built since then.

My eyes drift to Scarlet, sleeping soundly. Her vintage glasses rest on the nightstand, and without them, her face looks softer and younger somehow. Freckles scatter across her nose and cheeks, and her lashes brush lightly against her skin with every breath she takes. Her hair is spread around her face, wild and beautiful, and her body is tucked close against mine, fitting there like she was always meant to.

If things had been different, and if I hadn’t been through so much pain, she’s the kind of woman I could have imagined myself falling for.

Funny and quick-witted. A ray of sunshine in the cloudy sky I’ve been living under for far too long.

The very thing I had been trying so hard to avoid has happened. I see it clearly now, even if I wanted to deny it for as long as I could. This has gone far beyond any arrangement. I’m falling for her, too.

I told myself it would never happen again. I promised I would never make that mistake. I thought I could keep control of everything and have what I wanted without giving too much of myself, but life doesn’t work like that. I’ve been foolish to think I could be the exception.

The moment I accept what’s happening, panic starts to rise inside me. It comes fast and sharp, spreading through me until it’s all I can feel. For once, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Every option feels wrong. Every thought pulls me in two directions at once.

So I do the only thing I know how to do.

I pull away.

And I retreat to protect myself.

The rest of the weekend passes in a kind of blur. I make sure we are rarely alone, trying to keep a safe distance from what I’m starting to feel. I book her a few hours at the thermal spa near the hotel, and later I take her out to dinner.

That night, when we return to the room, I tell her that I’m not feeling well. It’s not entirely untrue. There’s a tightness in my chest that won’t go away. We lie in bed with only a few inches between us, but those inches might as well be miles. Still, I tell myself this distance is for the best for both of us.

On Sunday, I repeat the motion, keeping that wall between us that keeps us from falling harder. In the evening, when she finally leaves, I see the disappointment written on her face. I watch her walk away, knowing I caused it, yet unable to stop myself. The moment the door closes behind her, I do what I’ve always done when things start to feel too heavy. I bury myself in work.

Adeline has left me a list of tasks to handle before Monday morning, so I decide to get started right away. Tim and Boa settle at my feet, loyal and calm as always. In the far corner, Milly is curled into a tight little ball.

She’s asleep. That’s a good sign, even if she still refuses to come any closer. It means she feels safe enough to rest. I want to take a picture of her and send it to Scarlet, to show her that Milly is starting to settle in, but I stop myself before I reach for my phone.