Page 128 of Rogue Riders Duet

And she’s going to kick all our asses.

The thought makes me smirk, but then I replay my thoughts, and the wind is knocked out of me. My baby girl? I almost stumble right there because she’s not mine. I made sure to fuck that up. Shit.

I catch sight of Dane at the edge of the finish area, standing off to the side where the crowd has thinned out. He’s looking better, less pale, though now and then he coughs into his sleeve. Moving toward him, my steps turn heavy with thoughts of his sister.

About the kiss that never should have happened, the moment when everything blurred together, right and wrong, want and guilt, until the only thing that mattered was her mouth on mine. The way she melted against me like we’d been waiting for that moment all along. I can still feel it.

The heat of her, the way her breath caught when I touched her, the soft, desperate sound she made when I kissed her back, the way her fingers curled into my hoodie like she didn’t want to let go. And fuck, I didn’t want to let go either.

I haven’t slept right since. Haven’t felt right since.

Reaching Dane, I plant myself next to him and nod like I’m not torn up inside with guilt over wanting his little sister. “Hey, bro.”

“Hey, man, nice run. You good?”

“Yeah,” I say too fast. “I’m good.”

I’m not.

Not even close.

I should tell him, spit it out and let it wreck me, but the words stay lodged in my throat. Putting more weight on Dane right now? I can’t do that. He’s already carrying enough. And truthfully, I’m a fucking coward.

I just got Dane and Alaina back, this fragile piece of my past that I’ve been clawing toward for years. I can’t lose it already, not when I just lost the future I was supposed to have, and not when Kevin and Rachel are texting me every day for updates, and I’m lying my ass off to them too.

I’m a disappointment to them and to Dane and Alaina, most of all. So what’s one more lie? To hold the pieces together a little longer before everything falls apart.

Just until the end of the season.

Everything that comes after is already fucked anyway.

I exhale slowly through my nose and glance out at the course like the wind might carry this guilt out of my lungs, might whisper back a version of myself that isn’t always fucking everything up.

But I have to say something. If I don’t, Alaina or I might slip, and Dane will notice, if she hasn’t told him already.

Fuck, did she tell him something?

“She knows. Alaina. She found out I know about her.”

Dane’s head whips toward me. “She mad?”

Apparently, she didn’t.

I open my mouth, then close it again.

Is she mad? Probably, and hurt, but not for the reason Dane thinks.

“I don’t think so,” I murmur.

“Good.” Dane exhales sharply. “God, I’m relieved she knows. Not having to watch what I say is gonna be a fucking relief. I hate lying to her.”

I stare straight ahead, my heart heavy with the weight of everything.

I hate lying to you too.

Rubbing a hand over my jaw, I try to scrub the guilt off my skin. I should just keep my mouth shut, but the words are already pressing against my teeth, scraping at the back of my throat, desperate for a way out. I need to talk to somebody about this mess, but the Crews siblings are the only people I have.

“Hey, you ever have a friend who… umm…” I grimace, “… got too close to someone they shouldn’t have?”