Page 1 of Ex Somnis

CHAPTER ONE

Nevan

My gaze drops to Paul’s hand at the small of Lennon’s back.

Stupid.

I’m so fucking stupid.

I helped with that. Stood in the inn kitchen, told him to take her out, because she deserved someone who would show up with flowers and a plan. And he did. I was glad and meant it.

I was glad for her.

I am glad for her, and yet I kissed her anyway.

My face feels weird. Like… not there. Cold maybe. Or maybe my brain has shut a few things down for efficiency.

Can’t fuck it up worse if you can’t feel it, right?

I had my hands on her face. She was leaning into them, and I thought…

There it is.

That’s the problem.

I thought.

I came to a stop outside the inn, finding Lennon in her yellow dress, with Paul’s hand still splayed on the small of her back, and someone in a wheelchair beside them. It takes me an extra second to place him because I never would have expected him here.

Ridge Wells.

I haven’t seen him since before the logging accident took him off the yard and apparently out of every place I might have found him if I’d kept looking, and I did, for a while, before the silence made it clear he didn’t want to be found.

He looks different.

The same jaw and dark eyes, his hair, which is longer now, is half up, but the rest of him is different. The wheelchair, sure, but also the harder set of his mouth. Something in his eyes that wasn’t there when he was the person who made long shifts shorter by having opinions about everything and never once making me feel like my opinions were worth less than his.

I went looking for you, I think, which is a strange thing to think about a guy who was an almost friend, but apparently, tonight is a night for strange things.

He’s looking at Lennon, too, in a way that tells me everything I didn’t ask to know.

Cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

“Lemon.” I make myself take the last few steps and reach her, but my panting has nothing to do with the distance I just crossed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. I didn’t mean to make you run, please just⁠—”

“You kissed her?” Paul and Ridge ask in perfect unison.

Fuck.

Right. Yeah. Let’s announce it to the room. That helps.

I drag a hand over my face, laugh once under my breath because, of course, I picked tonight to lose my mind completely.

“You fucking kissed her?”

“Why would you do that?”