Page 136 of Ex Somnis

Lennon sits on the bench, looking tired, vulnerable, and entirely too brave about it. There are faint marks from the hospital equipment, a slight paleness that wasn’t there before. Evidence of everything she’s been through.

“You’re the most beautiful person I have ever known.”

A blush creeps onto her cheeks at my words, and she averts her gaze to her fingers that are curling nervously against her knees.

“Hey,” I prompt, and her light blue eyes lift to mine again. “You’re okay.”

The tension in her shoulders eases, and she takes a moment to study my face. “So are you.”

I chuckle, smoothing my hand over her face. “I am now.”

That earns me the smile I was aiming for.

Much better.

I put the towel away, then reach for the shampoo.

Without looking, I am aware of the interested glance she casts over my chest and lower. I don’t draw attention to it because I can’t do anything about it right now, and we both know it.

Except now I’m standing here, she’s seated on the bench, and the geometry of the situation puts her face directly at eye level with a problem I have no intention of discussing before breakfast.

I move back half a step before I embarrass us both.

My glasses fog almost immediately. Normally, this would irritate me. At the moment, it feels less like a problem and more like a courtesy.

“That okay?” I ask, reaching for her hand and letting the water flow over the back of it.

“Perfect.” She smiles up at me, and my heart does the thing again as I let the water cascade over her shoulders. She tilts her head back under the spray, eyes half closed.

Don’t lick your way down to her nipples, Paul.

Instead, I start with my hands on her shoulders, gliding my soapy palms down her wet upper arms in slow strokes, and this part is manageable. This part I can do standing at a respectable distance.

Then I have to wash her legs.

There is no version of washing someone’s legs that doesn’t involve getting low enough to reach them, and the second I crouch down in front of her, my face level with her knees and thighs, I understand exactly what kind of mistake I’ve made.

I pull my fogged, wet glasses off and set them down beside me before I run soapy palms down her calf, over her ankle, a task like any other task, except her hand finds my shoulder, and her thumb moves once against my collarbone. Every rational thought I own leaves the building at once. I let my hand drift back up, thumb tracing the curve of her knee, then down again, memorizing how the droplets cling to her.

She shivers, and I lean in, because I’m apparently no longer capable of making good decisions at this range, and press a kiss to the inside of her knee before I decide to. I straighten fast, cover it with a kiss to her temple and cheek, lingering enough to breathe her in and pretend that was always the plan.

“So damn beautiful,” I murmur absentmindedly while my fingers glide over the trail of soap as it runs down the valley between her breasts. The soft weight of them as I carefully wash beneath. The curve of her stomach, the flare of her hips, the place between her thighs I remember being so hot and tight around my fingers. I want to taste her. I want to press my face to those beautiful breasts, this time without fabric between us. I want to suck on those perfect nipples.

My cock throbs painfully in my wet boxers, and my hands tremble with restraint as I glide them over her once more. I breathe through it, then cup more water and rinse her.

Lennon’s hand on my chest traces water over my skin in return. “You really think so?”

The question startles me out of my lusty haze. “What?”

“You think I am, even in harsh light and…”

“Lennon.” I press my forehead to her collarbone for a moment, long enough to not say anything clever. “I’m trying really hard not to look or touch you inappropriately because you just woke up from trauma and were out for seven days. But every rational thought I have keeps losing to the urge to put my mouth on you.” My thumb glides down the side of her neck, and I appreciate the shiver she gives me in response. I follow it with a soft kiss below her ear. “I’ve spent the last minutes trying very hard not to prove exactly how much I think that. I want you. Considerably.”

Her breath catches, and the soft sound goes straight through me. For a moment, the water, steam, and the whole world narrows to her fingers pressing against my chest.

“You’re celibate and… shit, I was out so long.”

“Seven days, but my celibacy is over when you’re ready. When you’re back on your feet, and you want it. Then my celibacy ends. However long that takes.”