Page 2 of Demon Touched

She’s gone. One argument, one disagreement, and she’s walked out of Infernum like her time here meant nothing. As if it were no more than a brief interlude she ended the moment it became inconvenient.

A void is opening up inside me, a gaping hole that’s been there for centuries, but which recently I thought had been filled by a pair of bright green eyes and a smattering of freckles. It’s empty again now, though, and the ache of it is much worse than before. The void has grown—is still growing—the edges of it spreading outward and threatening to swallow me up.

To just leave. After everything I was willing to risk for her⁠—

Which she didn’t know about, says that voice in my mind again. Because you didn’t tell her.

Except I shouldn’t have to. I’ve lived long enough and seen enough that she should’ve trusted me—accepted that I know what’s best for all of us. That some prices are too high to pay.

And I would have told her. Maybe. If she’d just given me time. I would’ve explained everything eventually, wouldn’t I? Once I’d mitigated the risk. Once I’d made sure it was safe.

She couldn’t even allow me that. Because she doesn’t see me like I see her. I thought she knew who I am, that she understood, but obviously I was deluding myself.

I crumple up the note, dropping it to the floor and turning on my heel. Aster calls after me, but I can’t face her right now. She’d try to reason with me, to talk through things or cheer me up, and I don’t want that. I want to give in to everything I’m feeling, let it take me over as it has in the past. It’s sweet release, surrendering to the way the darkness of the void twists into something uglier. Betrayal. Anger. I’m a wounded animal snapping its jaws, but there’s relief in that—in surrendering to the monster everyone expects me to be. I close my eyes and shove my awareness out to her once again, only this time I am not gentle.

I batter her mental defenses, digging my claws into them and gouging deep, trying to break through. An enraged roar sounds inside me as I throw the weight of my power behind my attack, wanting to smash every one of those walls down until there’s nothing but rubble and dust between us.

It’s no use.

The barriers remain firmly in place. The woman who opened up so much for me—unlocked Strata and Malice and even my own heart—has completely shut me out.

Chapter 1

Leah

My power finds me the moment I step foot in Aradis.

It’s been there in the background, of course, the tingling of something brewing beneath the surface, a buzzing that never went away. But as I look up into an expansive, turquoise sky and the light of Aradis’s pale sun hits me, for the first time in my life, I’m being shaken fully awake.

The pressure of it builds with each passing moment. It’s not painful, but it’s not fully comfortable, either. Everything is just so heightened. My eyesight is sharper, my muscles alert and energized, ready for action. When I breathe in, my lungs somehow feel bigger, as if I can take in more air than I could before.

Fuck, is this how I’m meant to have been feeling my whole life? For at least the last six years, it’s been one endless tooth-and-nail scrap for freedom. If I’d known I could tap into this kind of strength in that fight…

But if I’d stayed in Infernum, I wouldn’t have ever known this feeling. It’s only now that I’ve gotten rid of the other thing lurking under my skin that I can truly embrace it.

Now that I’ve shut him out.

It was the right decision—the only decision I could make while being true to myself. And yet I have to keep telling myself that, because there’s still the lingering feeling that blocking him out is wrong. It’s like I’m too empty, like I might just suffocate all alone behind these thick, high walls I’ve built. But that’s crazy. Having someone else lurking inside your head is the unnatural part. Being possessed by a demon isn’t something you should want.

All I’ve ever wanted was freedom. And that’s exactly why I needed to get away, because I was dangerously close to giving it all up—the thing I’ve fought so long for—just because he told me I should. He lured me in with his soft kisses and devastating smile and the promise of a life I could flourish in, like a dying plant being dragged into the light.

But I couldn’t ever truly bloom, not without my power—the magic he wanted to lock away. I haven’t felt him trying to get through my barriers yet, but I’m braced for when he does—determined he won’t get past my defenses this time.

“You handled the rift travel well,” Captain Pellery Cazele comments, stepping up beside me and pulling me away from my thoughts of Syrus. “There are plenty of Brigade rookies who fall apart the first time they go through.”

She raises a thin, dark eyebrow at me as I glance back at the rift behind us. It flares inside a huge, stone frame standing several stories tall. Maybe if I seem distracted studying my surroundings, Pellery won’t notice me lying through my teeth.

“I’ve always had a strong stomach. I practically never get motion sickness.”

Nothing to do with the fact I’ve been working as a demon’s inter-realm courier service for the last three and a half months, I think to myself.

Pellery nods, so my answer must be convincing, maybe partly because I am distracted by our surroundings. I’m about two minutes into my time in Aradis, and I can already tell the ephilium have a thing for dramatic architecture. Instead of a plain old compound near a river, their side of the trade rift sits on a white marble platform jutting out over a chasm so deep the bottom is concealed in shadow. It makes me very conscious of my lack of wings.

In front of us, a wide bridge connects the platform to a sparkling city of gold and pale stone. It’s built in levels and shaped like a many-layered cake, rising up above us in tiers of close-knit buildings adorned with pillars and glass domes. I crane my neck, trying to see what sits at the top, but it’s impossible from down here. I can only make out the distant shapes of winged figures swooping among the low-lying clouds near the summit.

“Welcome to Luminis,” Pellery says. I swallow, taking it in. I’ve only ever glimpsed this city before through a hazy rift opening, and now it’s intensely real. When I was little, I dreamed of traveling, maybe as part of some research when I was a renowned botanist. Now I’ve been dragged through all three realms in as many months, I’m thinking younger me should’ve been careful what she wished for.

I feel a gentle push against my mental walls and try not to tense up. It’s him. And now he knows that I’ve blocked him out. But his touch isn’t particularly forceful.