Page 41 of Demon Touched

Which leaves drastic, unprecedented plans that make Viz tear his hair out with his bony fingers.

I turn toward Asterim, who’s several pastries deep into afternoon tea.

“Aster? Are you going to tell me to reconsider too?”

She delicately dabs at her mouth. “It’s a bold idea, darling. Romantic. Brave. Very stupid.” She sips a glass of something golden and sparkling. “But I’m not sure we’re really living if we don’t do something very stupid from time to time. I’m sure I’ve done at least three very stupid things just this month.”

Viz makes a strangled groan. He knows he’s losing this argument.

“You just have to be willing to accept the consequences,” she continues, her voice hardening a touch in a way that tells me she’s serious. I go to stand by her seat, crouching down so our heads are level.

“And will you be by my side when I do?” I ask.

She shoots me an insulted look, as if I shouldn’t need to ask. “My dear, you know I’d follow you into the eternal darkness if you asked me to.”

I put my hand over hers, and she pats it fondly.

“Now let me finish this cake before this conversation gets so sickly sweet I lose my appetite,” she says.

I release her and turn back to Viz, who’s staring at us both, looking betrayed.

“You know I can’t do this without you, Vizmodeus,” I say. “You are my chamberlain, my right-hand man, and the cleverest person I know.”

“He means the cleverest book-smart person he knows,” Aster corrects under her breath. “In terms of street smarts, you’re a moron.”

“And I’m afraid that if I don’t try this, nothing we’ll have built over the last hundred years will matter,” I continue. “I know that seems selfish. But unfortunately, when I pulled that woman here from Infernum, I became irreparably selfish.”

Viz chews on his lip. “I don’t want you to go back to the person you were before. You were a good ruler, but…” He sighs, like admitting this pains him, not wanting me to think he’s giving my plan any credit. “But I think maybe you were better with her. The whole Kaliban situation. Well, it could’ve gone very differently if you weren’t so decisive. She makes things…clearer for you, I think.”

“And aren’t I being decisive now?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says reluctantly. “I want to see you happy, of course. But this is dangerous for everyone, Syrus. Are you sure this is the only way?”

“Can you think of another?” I reply, which only silences him.

At last, I turn to the third demon in the room, the one who’s been waiting in characteristic silence until he’s called upon.

“I need a commitment from you too, Quill. I won’t force you to take this on if you don’t want it.”

My head guard dips his bald pate. “Your chamberlain is right, my lord. Sometimes what is best for you is best for the kingdom.”

It’s the most expressive thing I’ve ever heard him say.

“And if this isn’t one of those times?” I ask, surprising myself with my willingness to voice my doubts aloud. But this is the biggest of my misgivings—that what I’m about to do just might doom us.

“Then I would still live and die by your command, my lord,” Quill says.

These military types, always so black and white. But I’ll happily take undying loyalty when it’s coming from a man as honorable as Quill.

“I also won’t ask you if you feel up to the task, Quill. I know you are. I just want you to brace yourself.”

“Consider me braced, my lord,” Quill says with a sharp nod.

The rest of the day stretches on. Even if there’s lots to do to set my plans in action, none of it fills the gaping space that’s opened up in my life. Since I made my deal with Leah, I’ve found myself impatient all day, waiting for the evenings, for those few, brief minutes when I have permission to slip into her mind. In those moments, I’m close to her again and can enjoy the familiar sensation of settling into her body—feeling the soft brush of her hair against the nape of her neck, the flutter of her eyelashes against her cheek. I lose myself in the steady, comforting thud of her heartbeat. Each time I hold my breath, hoping, intensely and fruitlessly, that she might speak to me.

But she just lies there in silence, until I can’t reasonably linger any longer and have to force my awareness back to Infernum.

Tonight, however, I break.